I've decided to continue blogging but not publicly. If you would like to continue reading my blog, send me a message at one of the following.
Email me at: vcampbell@sbcglobal.net.
OR
message me on facebook.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Your Child Is Born
Your child is born
and becoming a parent
changes you forever
In ways you didn't expect
and could never have predicted.
So tiny and helpless at first
depending on you
for every need.
This child grows and changes
while your love for them never wavers,
but grows deeper as the years pass by.
They need you less as they learn
to depend both on themselves
and on their Lord.
They grow up
and are on their own
or so they think.
They face life's struggles,
and while not there with them
you are and will always be
on their side
and becoming a parent
changes you forever
In ways you didn't expect
and could never have predicted.
So tiny and helpless at first
depending on you
for every need.
This child grows and changes
while your love for them never wavers,
but grows deeper as the years pass by.
They need you less as they learn
to depend both on themselves
and on their Lord.
They grow up
and are on their own
or so they think.
They face life's struggles,
and while not there with them
you are and will always be
on their side
Monday, November 02, 2009
October Skies
I can't believe that November has arrived! My main memory of this past October is R A I N ! !
We only had 7 days of sun during the whole month of October! It was the wettest October on record at 19 different stations, including Little Rock! Even Searcy had almost 5 inches in ONE day last week.
I guess I just need to describe one of those days. Here goes. I was heading toward the office at school and suddenly saw about a dozen people with mops and brooms trying to push the water out the door. There were 3 custodians, the school nurse, the office secretary, two teachers, and a computer lab facilitator among others. It was about 2:30 and the kids were supposed to get on the buses at 3 PM.
Not gonna happen!
A rippling river of rainwater was rushing down hall from the cafeteria to the office. If I had not seen it, I wouldn't have believed it. That's a distance of about 40 feet.
One class that was returning from the gym had to detour to the other side of the building. When they came inside, it was comical! The teacher was in front of the line with her pants rolled up to her knees. The line of students that followed alternated between trying to roll up thier pants as they walked, or bending slightly forward trying to hold up the hem of their pants. Thier shoes and socks were soaked from being submerged in 8 inches of water outside. And just in case you think they were puddle jumping, that was on the sidewalk!
Many of the teachers whose classes were in that hallway had their students move thier books from the bottom shelves just in case.
After sending for several shop vacs and lots of mops, the floor was finally cleared of running water. Then the students made their way to the buses and teachers to their cars. What a day!
We only had 7 days of sun during the whole month of October! It was the wettest October on record at 19 different stations, including Little Rock! Even Searcy had almost 5 inches in ONE day last week.
I guess I just need to describe one of those days. Here goes. I was heading toward the office at school and suddenly saw about a dozen people with mops and brooms trying to push the water out the door. There were 3 custodians, the school nurse, the office secretary, two teachers, and a computer lab facilitator among others. It was about 2:30 and the kids were supposed to get on the buses at 3 PM.
Not gonna happen!
A rippling river of rainwater was rushing down hall from the cafeteria to the office. If I had not seen it, I wouldn't have believed it. That's a distance of about 40 feet.
One class that was returning from the gym had to detour to the other side of the building. When they came inside, it was comical! The teacher was in front of the line with her pants rolled up to her knees. The line of students that followed alternated between trying to roll up thier pants as they walked, or bending slightly forward trying to hold up the hem of their pants. Thier shoes and socks were soaked from being submerged in 8 inches of water outside. And just in case you think they were puddle jumping, that was on the sidewalk!
Many of the teachers whose classes were in that hallway had their students move thier books from the bottom shelves just in case.
After sending for several shop vacs and lots of mops, the floor was finally cleared of running water. Then the students made their way to the buses and teachers to their cars. What a day!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Middle Wife
It was time for show-n-tell and Erica, a very bright, outgoing seven-year-old, came to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She held up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.”
She's stood there with her hands on the pillow, and the teacher was trying not to laugh and wishing she had her camcorder that day. The kids were watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom started saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!” Erica put a hand behind her back and groaned.
“She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!” Now Erica is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (Now Erica has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.’
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. “
“He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.”
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
Another teacher sent me this story and I am still laughing about it. I couldn’t resist posting it here. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
She held up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.”
She's stood there with her hands on the pillow, and the teacher was trying not to laugh and wishing she had her camcorder that day. The kids were watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom started saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!” Erica put a hand behind her back and groaned.
“She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!” Now Erica is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (Now Erica has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.’
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. “
“He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.”
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
******************************************************
Another teacher sent me this story and I am still laughing about it. I couldn’t resist posting it here. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
Pain Perception
- Human beings at large differ in how sensitive they are to pain. Much of the variation is apparently random. But gender matters. Women tend to hurt more than men do. Ethnicity can also interface with ache; some ethnic groups are more tolerant of discomfort than others are.
- In the past few years researchers have begun unraveling the genetic roots of these differences. They are also pinpointing social, cultural and psychological components that play parts in pain sensitivity.
- Assessing patients’ vulnerability to anguish may be essential to accurately judging the severity of their condition. It is also critical to deciding how to treat individuals’ pain. Revealing the molecular causes of individual variation in pain perception is already providing potential targets for novel pain medications.
One day as a child Billy Smith (not his real name), a resident of Newfoundland, could not take off his shoe. No amount of twisting or tugging would loosen its grip on his foot. The reason for his struggle eventually surfaced: a nail had pierced the sole and entered Smith’s flesh, tightly binding the two. Removing the nail freed the foot, but solving that problem only underscored a bigger one: Smith had not noticed.
Smith is among a tiny cluster of people, fewer than 30 in the world, who harbor a genetic quirk that renders them incapable of perceiving pain . “These humans are completely healthy, of normal intelligence, but don’t know what pain is,” says clinical geneticist C. Geoffrey Woods, who studied a group of such patients from northern Pakistan. They can sense touch, heat, vibration and their body’s position in space. Yet for them, root canals are painless, as are falls, fires and whacks on the head with a baseball bat. One woman with so-called congenital indifference to pain (CIP) delivered a baby without discomfort.
Link
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=i-do-not-feel-your-pain
DIFFERENT ARTICLE:
Link
http://indianapublicmedia.org/amomentofscience/knocking-out-redheads/
Did you know that people with red hair need more anesthesia during surgery than other people?
Dozens of studies have shown that it takes about twenty-percent more anesthesia to knock out redheads than it does people with other hair colors. It’s all got to do with pigment, which are the particles that determine the color of hair and skin.
The amount of pigment you have is controlled by a hormone in the brain. Redheads have more of this hormone – and that matters because the pigment hormone is also involved with pain perception.
For some reason, because redheads have an abundance of this pigment hormone, they’re more sensitive to pain, which is why it takes more anesthesia to knock them out. But if you are a redhead, there’s no need to worry about waking up during surgery, screaming in pain. Surgeons and anesthesiologists are well aware of the phenomenon.
Medscape Link
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/487261
The Placebo Effect
I was amazed when I read this article in Neurology.
Doctors and scientists used to believe that a placebo, sometimes called a sugar pill, had the ability to change the perception of the patient but had no real healing effect. In other words, it had no medicine therefore it changed nothing physically within the patient.
Now they have learned that a placebo can have a physical effect on a patient. PET scans have now confirmed that some patients get better just because they expect to. This particular article refers to patients with Parkinson's, depression, and pain. Patients who received a medication and patients who received a placebo had the SAME changes in their brain on PET scans. WOW!
"It seems that the expectation of benefit activates the same natural pathways in the brain as medications. If we could harness these same mechanisms in the clinic, patients could help themselves without the side effects of medications."
That's pretty amazing, although I should not be surprised -- God created us and and in so many ways, our physical bodies are a wonderful and complicated mystery.
Here is the link if you want to read the full article.
I just started reading another article about red-heads and physical pain. I hope to post conclusions from that one soon.
Doctors and scientists used to believe that a placebo, sometimes called a sugar pill, had the ability to change the perception of the patient but had no real healing effect. In other words, it had no medicine therefore it changed nothing physically within the patient.
Now they have learned that a placebo can have a physical effect on a patient. PET scans have now confirmed that some patients get better just because they expect to. This particular article refers to patients with Parkinson's, depression, and pain. Patients who received a medication and patients who received a placebo had the SAME changes in their brain on PET scans. WOW!
"It seems that the expectation of benefit activates the same natural pathways in the brain as medications. If we could harness these same mechanisms in the clinic, patients could help themselves without the side effects of medications."
That's pretty amazing, although I should not be surprised -- God created us and and in so many ways, our physical bodies are a wonderful and complicated mystery.
Here is the link if you want to read the full article.
I just started reading another article about red-heads and physical pain. I hope to post conclusions from that one soon.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Where have you been?
I have had several calls and more than several questions on FB asking me so I am writing this post to briefly answer the questions. I also wrote a note for FB.
Earlier in the summer, I was diagnosed with a stomach problem which left me pretty much restricted to a liquid diet. I blogged briefly about it before. I am allowed to eat any food that does not have fiber, fat, or spices. Some of the things that are allowable are: cottage cheese, no fat saltine crackers, jello, ice tea, water, chicken broth, white rice, and a few others.
I drank "Boost" and vitamin water for nutrients and of course the foods listed above.
My GI doc recommended a prescription that is not available in the US. The only drug available in the US had some serious side effects for many patients.
I visited my grandkids the last week of July and when I got home, my new medication was here in the mail. I started the new med and went back to work that Monday. By Wednesday I was extremely ill, which continued until the following Sunday. During most of that time, I was so sick that I didn't know day from night most of the time. I started to feel better and then worse. I went to my chiropractor on Tuesday and then to my Doctor on Wednesday.
I learned from my Doctor that this med can effect you neurologically as well as physically. In his words, "the medication sometimes does the same thing to your brain as it does to your gut"
He told me that I will have to wait it out and drink lots of water. I also learned that my potassium was extremely low. It was a 3 and should be between 28-38. That explained why my muscles hurt and I couldn't walk (my legs were bent under and I couldn't straighten them)
It also explained the sensory hallucinations I had been having and while that was a relief (knowing why), I still had to wait until the medication was out of my system.
It is now Saturday and I am just beginning to feel normal again. Yesterday I was feeling pretty good so I tried a few bites of banana and some avocado. That evening I started hurting again and the diarrhea started over. I couldn't believe that I had messed up and didn't look up the food content of banana and avocado - - - they BOTH have fiber!!
NEVER AGAIN will I eat something without checking it out first - even if I "think" I already know it's nutritional content.
At this point, I have missed 7 days of work and I expect to miss the next 5 days. I HOPE to be able to return to work by the 24th.
If you read this all, you MUST have extra time on your hands.
Thanks,
Vicky
PS. I had a WONDERFUL time visiting my grandkids and will post about that shortly.
Earlier in the summer, I was diagnosed with a stomach problem which left me pretty much restricted to a liquid diet. I blogged briefly about it before. I am allowed to eat any food that does not have fiber, fat, or spices. Some of the things that are allowable are: cottage cheese, no fat saltine crackers, jello, ice tea, water, chicken broth, white rice, and a few others.
I drank "Boost" and vitamin water for nutrients and of course the foods listed above.
My GI doc recommended a prescription that is not available in the US. The only drug available in the US had some serious side effects for many patients.
I visited my grandkids the last week of July and when I got home, my new medication was here in the mail. I started the new med and went back to work that Monday. By Wednesday I was extremely ill, which continued until the following Sunday. During most of that time, I was so sick that I didn't know day from night most of the time. I started to feel better and then worse. I went to my chiropractor on Tuesday and then to my Doctor on Wednesday.
I learned from my Doctor that this med can effect you neurologically as well as physically. In his words, "the medication sometimes does the same thing to your brain as it does to your gut"
He told me that I will have to wait it out and drink lots of water. I also learned that my potassium was extremely low. It was a 3 and should be between 28-38. That explained why my muscles hurt and I couldn't walk (my legs were bent under and I couldn't straighten them)
It also explained the sensory hallucinations I had been having and while that was a relief (knowing why), I still had to wait until the medication was out of my system.
It is now Saturday and I am just beginning to feel normal again. Yesterday I was feeling pretty good so I tried a few bites of banana and some avocado. That evening I started hurting again and the diarrhea started over. I couldn't believe that I had messed up and didn't look up the food content of banana and avocado - - - they BOTH have fiber!!
NEVER AGAIN will I eat something without checking it out first - even if I "think" I already know it's nutritional content.
At this point, I have missed 7 days of work and I expect to miss the next 5 days. I HOPE to be able to return to work by the 24th.
If you read this all, you MUST have extra time on your hands.
Thanks,
Vicky
PS. I had a WONDERFUL time visiting my grandkids and will post about that shortly.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Historic Moments
John F. Kennedy was the 35th president of the United States.
I was in elementary school. I vividly remember an announcement over the school speaker system announcing that our President had been shot. I sat in the second row, third seat back. No one spoke a word. That is quite a feat for a classroom full of elementary boys and girls. Our teacher had started crying, and was trying to quickly wipe away the tears. We were stunned but we had no idea how serious this was.
School was dismissed and I walked/ran home since I live a few blocks away.
I was glued to the TV. (Yes, you younger folks, we DID have TV then) When it was announced by Walter Cronkrite, "From Dallas Texas, the flash apparently official, President Kennedy died at 1 PM central standard time"
He was visibly choked up and I had never seen emotion on a newscaster before - I my parents weren't home at that time and I just sat there, frozen.
(Link - If you are interested, it's toward the end)
I will never forget that moment. Kennedy's election coverage was the first I had ever watched and I viewed him as a very great man. He seemed young, even to me as a child. All of the other presidents I had learned about looked old.
I continued watching the news coverage every spare moment and I was again left speechless when Jack Ruby shot Oswald on live TV! (Note: This was the era before violence became commonplace on TV)
Link - If you are interested
Whether you are a young person, or older like me, you will have certain events burned in your memory. From that point on, I read every single newspaper article that I could find relating to President Kennedy.
Another related memorable event was when two year John Jr. stood like grown man and saluted his father during a memorial. A & E's biography of John Kennedy Jr. is in 5 parts, but the first view seconds of this video shows John Jr.'s salute.
Link
This video clip is not the one I saw live. The coverage I watched was a close-up of the family and John John stood their for probably 5-10 seconds in a motionless salute to the father he had just begun to know.
FYI: President Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963 at 12:30 Central time.
I was in elementary school. I vividly remember an announcement over the school speaker system announcing that our President had been shot. I sat in the second row, third seat back. No one spoke a word. That is quite a feat for a classroom full of elementary boys and girls. Our teacher had started crying, and was trying to quickly wipe away the tears. We were stunned but we had no idea how serious this was.
School was dismissed and I walked/ran home since I live a few blocks away.
I was glued to the TV. (Yes, you younger folks, we DID have TV then) When it was announced by Walter Cronkrite, "From Dallas Texas, the flash apparently official, President Kennedy died at 1 PM central standard time"
He was visibly choked up and I had never seen emotion on a newscaster before - I my parents weren't home at that time and I just sat there, frozen.
(Link - If you are interested, it's toward the end)
I will never forget that moment. Kennedy's election coverage was the first I had ever watched and I viewed him as a very great man. He seemed young, even to me as a child. All of the other presidents I had learned about looked old.
I continued watching the news coverage every spare moment and I was again left speechless when Jack Ruby shot Oswald on live TV! (Note: This was the era before violence became commonplace on TV)
Link - If you are interested
Whether you are a young person, or older like me, you will have certain events burned in your memory. From that point on, I read every single newspaper article that I could find relating to President Kennedy.
Another related memorable event was when two year John Jr. stood like grown man and saluted his father during a memorial. A & E's biography of John Kennedy Jr. is in 5 parts, but the first view seconds of this video shows John Jr.'s salute.
Link
This video clip is not the one I saw live. The coverage I watched was a close-up of the family and John John stood their for probably 5-10 seconds in a motionless salute to the father he had just begun to know.
FYI: President Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963 at 12:30 Central time.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
"Freedom is NEVER free"
I borrowed my title today from a facebook status. We know that freedom for our nation had a cost. The older I get, the more I find myself interested in the details of history. History does repeat itself. Hopefully we can learn the things that are worth repeating.
As women, many of us eagerly look to the next stage -- Will I ever find someone to marry? Will he ever understand me? Will I ever have a baby? Will the struggles of these teenage years be over soon? Will my child marry a person that will help them get to heaven?
It's so easy to want to be free that we often forget to enjoy the moments that are. Every stage has it's struggles but it is also full of joys. Savour the joys of now and you'll be free of the struggles soon enough!
As individuals, we struggle to be free from our flaws. This is a good thing and while we'll never be free of them, we will grow.
As women, many of us eagerly look to the next stage -- Will I ever find someone to marry? Will he ever understand me? Will I ever have a baby? Will the struggles of these teenage years be over soon? Will my child marry a person that will help them get to heaven?
It's so easy to want to be free that we often forget to enjoy the moments that are. Every stage has it's struggles but it is also full of joys. Savour the joys of now and you'll be free of the struggles soon enough!
As individuals, we struggle to be free from our flaws. This is a good thing and while we'll never be free of them, we will grow.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Terry Sanford Smith
I got to know Terry and his wife Charlotte when they lived a few blocks from me. They are amazing individuals and I miss them.
While Terry worked with the church here, I visited with him on a regular basis. As time went by, he helped me learn some things about myself, some of which I did not want to know. As it turned out, the more I knew and accepted about me, the healthier I became emotionally.
Learning to love myself was a great gift and it occurred over time. An integral part of that process was a realization that came as a result of my observations of Terry Smith and how he interacted with everyone around him. I saw Terry consistently love people with words and actions. His genuine concern for people was like a shining light and at some point,
I UNDERSTOOD!
At that point, I had been a Christian for years and I knew in my head that God loved me and nothing could change that. While my head knew it, my heart had no clue until
that moment in time when Terry's example taught my heart that God loved me and NOTHING could change that. My heart FELT the love of God for the first time. My heart learned what my head had already known. What a gift!
Thank you Terry, for letting God use you to help me.
I recently came across a poetry blog entitled, "Your Story Matters". I was not surprised to learn that Terry Smith was the author.
PLEASE TAKE A LOOK.
Here is a link to just one of his poems.
While Terry worked with the church here, I visited with him on a regular basis. As time went by, he helped me learn some things about myself, some of which I did not want to know. As it turned out, the more I knew and accepted about me, the healthier I became emotionally.
Learning to love myself was a great gift and it occurred over time. An integral part of that process was a realization that came as a result of my observations of Terry Smith and how he interacted with everyone around him. I saw Terry consistently love people with words and actions. His genuine concern for people was like a shining light and at some point,
I UNDERSTOOD!
At that point, I had been a Christian for years and I knew in my head that God loved me and nothing could change that. While my head knew it, my heart had no clue until
that moment in time when Terry's example taught my heart that God loved me and NOTHING could change that. My heart FELT the love of God for the first time. My heart learned what my head had already known. What a gift!
Thank you Terry, for letting God use you to help me.
I recently came across a poetry blog entitled, "Your Story Matters". I was not surprised to learn that Terry Smith was the author.
PLEASE TAKE A LOOK.
Here is a link to just one of his poems.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Happy Father's Day
Dan is a terrific father to our kids and to their spouses. I've watched him grow in love for our son-in-law and daughter-in-law. He truly loves them as much as he loves our own children. From the time our children were born, he has always put their best interest ahead of his own. He has shown them love, commitment, and respect by the way he lives his life. He has lived a life committed to Christ. He has lived by the principles that he taught to our children. His consistency has provided for an environment that makes clear that they can count on him.
Marcus is wonderful father to the two of my grandsons that are in his care. I've watched him nurture and care for their physical and spiritual needs since the day they were born. I have been impressed to see him struggle with a parenting issue until he was able to decide what is the best choice for his boys.
Michael has been an awesome father for the two of my grandsons that are in his care. I have seen him defer to their needs from the day they were born. He shows them what God expects by the things he expects of himself and of them. He shows them that he loves their mother by the way he treats her on a daily basis and that provides a deep level of security for them.
Poppy is a father I've only recently come to know. I've seen his love for his children and his love for two of my grandsons. I appreciate his love and respect for my son. Thank you Poppy for loving those that I love.
There is so much more I could say. Many of the qualities I mentioned are shared by every one of the dads I described.
Thank you Dads and Happy Father's Day
Marcus is wonderful father to the two of my grandsons that are in his care. I've watched him nurture and care for their physical and spiritual needs since the day they were born. I have been impressed to see him struggle with a parenting issue until he was able to decide what is the best choice for his boys.
Michael has been an awesome father for the two of my grandsons that are in his care. I have seen him defer to their needs from the day they were born. He shows them what God expects by the things he expects of himself and of them. He shows them that he loves their mother by the way he treats her on a daily basis and that provides a deep level of security for them.
Poppy is a father I've only recently come to know. I've seen his love for his children and his love for two of my grandsons. I appreciate his love and respect for my son. Thank you Poppy for loving those that I love.
There is so much more I could say. Many of the qualities I mentioned are shared by every one of the dads I described.
Thank you Dads and Happy Father's Day
Friday, June 19, 2009
Clear the Stage
I have been a blog recently that is written by a woman like any of us. She describes herself as a country girl but I would describe her as a deeply spiritual woman who shares her spiritual struggles as well as the spiritual insights she gains as she goes through daily life.
This is a woman I have know for about 7 years. I have know two of her children through the school where I work. I always respected her as a person but I just recently began to appreciate her insights as a Christian. Her blog has been very uplifting to me. Take a look here.
She has a link on her blog to a song called "Clear the Stage". I don't know of the performer but I do know that this song has quite a powerful message. The entire presentation is about 8 minutes long so don't stop when the music stops. If you are interested, here is the link.
This is a woman I have know for about 7 years. I have know two of her children through the school where I work. I always respected her as a person but I just recently began to appreciate her insights as a Christian. Her blog has been very uplifting to me. Take a look here.
She has a link on her blog to a song called "Clear the Stage". I don't know of the performer but I do know that this song has quite a powerful message. The entire presentation is about 8 minutes long so don't stop when the music stops. If you are interested, here is the link.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tweet Tweet and Good Spirits
I'm sure you've heard about Twitter as I have. I signed up just to see what it's like. I'll let you know what I think.
I think I have handle on my tummy trouble. I'm balancing servings of Ensure, bottled vitamin water, and occasional other snacks. I found individual serving containers of cottage cheese and that that is a real treat sometimes (not kidding). I'm also doing ok with small amounts of sherbert.
The one food that I miss the most is colby jack deli cheese. I used to eat it with meals and as a snack. I got some no fat cheese slices to try. We'll see.
I'm back in good spirits after "choosing to be grumpy" in my last post.
How could I not be with the many blessings God bestows every day. As I often say, grandkids are a special blessing from God. :)
I think I have handle on my tummy trouble. I'm balancing servings of Ensure, bottled vitamin water, and occasional other snacks. I found individual serving containers of cottage cheese and that that is a real treat sometimes (not kidding). I'm also doing ok with small amounts of sherbert.
The one food that I miss the most is colby jack deli cheese. I used to eat it with meals and as a snack. I got some no fat cheese slices to try. We'll see.
I'm back in good spirits after "choosing to be grumpy" in my last post.
How could I not be with the many blessings God bestows every day. As I often say, grandkids are a special blessing from God. :)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Choosing to be Grumpy
This post springs from a friend's recent comment. "If happiness is a choice then so is grumpiness"
I am choosing to be grumpy all day today. Fortunately, I am the only one home so I will reap the brunt of my grumpiness.
Gastroparesis - My tummy does not like it when I eat!!! In fact, my stomach muscles work soooo slooooowly that what I eat today may well have chosen a nice parking spot and isn't planning to leave for 3-4 days!!! Did you know there is a little engineer in your stomach directing traffic? I'll call mine Mr. G.
Well, Mr. G runs around telling the stomach muscles to work, work, work. Do your job! They ignore him most of the time but then they get motivated and will work a bit here and there.
If not, then LOOK OUT! Mr. G sends for the catapult and no one likes that catapult!! Not only is the catapult rough, he's very sneaky. Sometimes it's motor starts up with a growl and rumble for warning. Other times, however, the catapult operates with a silencer and BOOOM. You get the picture.
Mr. G has a partner and who takes over when the others are taking a break. Her name is Ms. Nauseitis and Ms. N is not a welcome guest. She is the FIRST one awake on many days. Sometimes she stays all day and other times she visits 5-6 times a day.
Mr. G and Ms N claim the if the solid foods will just stay away and allow the liquids to take their place, then all will be well. That's well and good but they are demanding specific liquids. NO FAT liquids. Grrrr --- Well low fat will do IF, AND ONLY IF the right amount is ingested.
Not too much.
On the surface that seems pretty reasonable, right? Well the catch is that the right amount changes from meal to meal and if too much is ingested, Mr. G and Ms N are right back. Mr. G still may send for the catapult! AND no one likes the catapult!
Well, there is more but this is enough for now. I'm going to go be grumpy now
I am choosing to be grumpy all day today. Fortunately, I am the only one home so I will reap the brunt of my grumpiness.
Gastroparesis - My tummy does not like it when I eat!!! In fact, my stomach muscles work soooo slooooowly that what I eat today may well have chosen a nice parking spot and isn't planning to leave for 3-4 days!!! Did you know there is a little engineer in your stomach directing traffic? I'll call mine Mr. G.
Well, Mr. G runs around telling the stomach muscles to work, work, work. Do your job! They ignore him most of the time but then they get motivated and will work a bit here and there.
If not, then LOOK OUT! Mr. G sends for the catapult and no one likes that catapult!! Not only is the catapult rough, he's very sneaky. Sometimes it's motor starts up with a growl and rumble for warning. Other times, however, the catapult operates with a silencer and BOOOM. You get the picture.
Mr. G has a partner and who takes over when the others are taking a break. Her name is Ms. Nauseitis and Ms. N is not a welcome guest. She is the FIRST one awake on many days. Sometimes she stays all day and other times she visits 5-6 times a day.
Mr. G and Ms N claim the if the solid foods will just stay away and allow the liquids to take their place, then all will be well. That's well and good but they are demanding specific liquids. NO FAT liquids. Grrrr --- Well low fat will do IF, AND ONLY IF the right amount is ingested.
Not too much.
On the surface that seems pretty reasonable, right? Well the catch is that the right amount changes from meal to meal and if too much is ingested, Mr. G and Ms N are right back. Mr. G still may send for the catapult! AND no one likes the catapult!
Well, there is more but this is enough for now. I'm going to go be grumpy now
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Nanna's Visit
"Nanna!" was the first thing Bennett said as I got into the car when he and Michael picked me me up at the airport. He had a big smile for me and at the same time I could tell he was feeling a bit shy but I may have overwhelmed with my eagerness since I was soooo glad to see him.
Once we got to his house, he totally lost the bit of shyness he had in the car. One of the first things he asked when we got to his house was, "Where's Papa"? I couldn't believe that he remembered on his own. He hadn't seen Papa since Christmas. He seemed satisfied when we told him Papa couldn't come.
"Nanna," he said from across the room and as soon as I looked he had a great big smile for me. He proceeded to show me his toys and with each one he called "Nanna" as he brought it to me. He was clearly happy to have Nanna visit and I was clearly happy to be there.
I also loved watching Bennett and daddy swimming in the backyard. They took turns splashing each other and throwing balls in and out of the water. When I wasn't playing with Bennett or watching him play, I was holding Jasper. I loved when he smiled at me and tried to talk to me.
Once we got to his house, he totally lost the bit of shyness he had in the car. One of the first things he asked when we got to his house was, "Where's Papa"? I couldn't believe that he remembered on his own. He hadn't seen Papa since Christmas. He seemed satisfied when we told him Papa couldn't come.
"Nanna," he said from across the room and as soon as I looked he had a great big smile for me. He proceeded to show me his toys and with each one he called "Nanna" as he brought it to me. He was clearly happy to have Nanna visit and I was clearly happy to be there.
By the time Lambie, Froggie, and Monkey had "kissed" me, my hair was a mess but I didn't care. I had so much fun playing with Bennett.
I also loved watching Bennett and daddy swimming in the backyard. They took turns splashing each other and throwing balls in and out of the water. When I wasn't playing with Bennett or watching him play, I was holding Jasper. I loved when he smiled at me and tried to talk to me.
Jasper has the same easygoing personality that Bennett has. He is mesmerized when he catches a glimpse of Bennett. It won't be long until Bennett will be a major source of entertainment for Jasper. It was so sweet to see Bennett's gentleness when he touched or kissed Jasper.
Bennett often informed me of one rule or another. "Not throw ball in house" or "Not disobey". I loved hearing him say "yes sir" and "Otay" when given instructions by his mom or dad.
As I've said before, grandsons are one of the great blessings of life.
Bennett often informed me of one rule or another. "Not throw ball in house" or "Not disobey". I loved hearing him say "yes sir" and "Otay" when given instructions by his mom or dad.
As I've said before, grandsons are one of the great blessings of life.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
I love you Nanna!
Rachel brought the boys for a visit several weeks ago and I am just now posting about it. She was very brave to drive here by herself with two little ones and I am a very grateful Nanna.
As she pulled in, I walked out and waved at the boys in their car seats. Caleb is old enough that he remembers me between visits. Ethan recently turned a year old and I didn't expect him to remember me from our last visit but he had just a hint of a smile and locked eyes with me through his window. I knew I would be pushing it to get him out of the car so I waved to him and then went to help Caleb out of the car.
One of my first thoughts (which I did not say aloud) was, "I really hate that after such a long drive, I can't even help Rachel bring in her things". We all went inside and after a little while, I was perfectly happy to entertain both boys while she unloaded the car. Ethan, however, was not going to let his mama out of sight. She tried to slip out and and we all followed Ethan as he trotted after her and wailed indignantly for her to come back.
If I had thought fast enough, I'm sure I could have diverted Ethan's attention with the offer of food. He is still the most amazing little eater. Even if he starts before everyone else, he is likely to be asking for more as everyone else finishes. He has eyes like an eagle for spotting any possible portion of food anywhere on the table or counter and if he thinks it's something that we haven't yet offered to him, he immediately points, looks plaintively at each of us while he says "dat" or "more" or "please". What's really funny is when he's just finished a meal and someone else is just beginning or is eating a snack. He isn't hungry but he loves to eat so he will ask and keep asking. I told him it was up to his mama. (I didn't have the heart to tell him no).
Here is Ethan asking to eat again and it hasn't been very long since dinner.
Ethan just adores Caleb he wants to do whatever Caleb is doing. I spent a lot of time on the floor playing with both boys and reading. I had brought paint home so we could paint rocks and Ethan was happy as long as he had a paint brush and a rock. He didn't notice the lack of paint. Caleb loved mixing all the colors with each rock he painted. We had lots of fun. Caleb had fun discovering the push/pull characteristics of magnets.
By the 2nd day, Caleb was cuddling with me and more than once said, "Nanna, I really love you". Yep, it melted my heart. I was totally taken by surprise however, when Ethan ran up and hugged me. I looked at Rachel and I realized at the same moment that she said it, "Ethan wants to do whatever Caleb does". I didn't care, it was just so sweet.
We went to a nearby playground one afternoon. Here are some of the highlights.
All little boys are drawn to puddles like a magnets and these guys were no different. Caleb began throwing rocks into the puddle and of course, Ethan wanted to be big like his brother so got his own rock to toss in the puddle. Caleb loves to kick a soccer ball so after he kicked the ball, Ethan gave it all he had to try to reach the ball before Caleb could retrieve it. I love it that Ethan is always so proud of his effort even if he doesn't succeed! We had such a good time. Grandkids are one the great blessings of life.
As she pulled in, I walked out and waved at the boys in their car seats. Caleb is old enough that he remembers me between visits. Ethan recently turned a year old and I didn't expect him to remember me from our last visit but he had just a hint of a smile and locked eyes with me through his window. I knew I would be pushing it to get him out of the car so I waved to him and then went to help Caleb out of the car.
One of my first thoughts (which I did not say aloud) was, "I really hate that after such a long drive, I can't even help Rachel bring in her things". We all went inside and after a little while, I was perfectly happy to entertain both boys while she unloaded the car. Ethan, however, was not going to let his mama out of sight. She tried to slip out and and we all followed Ethan as he trotted after her and wailed indignantly for her to come back.
If I had thought fast enough, I'm sure I could have diverted Ethan's attention with the offer of food. He is still the most amazing little eater. Even if he starts before everyone else, he is likely to be asking for more as everyone else finishes. He has eyes like an eagle for spotting any possible portion of food anywhere on the table or counter and if he thinks it's something that we haven't yet offered to him, he immediately points, looks plaintively at each of us while he says "dat" or "more" or "please". What's really funny is when he's just finished a meal and someone else is just beginning or is eating a snack. He isn't hungry but he loves to eat so he will ask and keep asking. I told him it was up to his mama. (I didn't have the heart to tell him no).
Here is Ethan asking to eat again and it hasn't been very long since dinner.
Ethan just adores Caleb he wants to do whatever Caleb is doing. I spent a lot of time on the floor playing with both boys and reading. I had brought paint home so we could paint rocks and Ethan was happy as long as he had a paint brush and a rock. He didn't notice the lack of paint. Caleb loved mixing all the colors with each rock he painted. We had lots of fun. Caleb had fun discovering the push/pull characteristics of magnets.
By the 2nd day, Caleb was cuddling with me and more than once said, "Nanna, I really love you". Yep, it melted my heart. I was totally taken by surprise however, when Ethan ran up and hugged me. I looked at Rachel and I realized at the same moment that she said it, "Ethan wants to do whatever Caleb does". I didn't care, it was just so sweet.
We went to a nearby playground one afternoon. Here are some of the highlights.
All little boys are drawn to puddles like a magnets and these guys were no different. Caleb began throwing rocks into the puddle and of course, Ethan wanted to be big like his brother so got his own rock to toss in the puddle. Caleb loves to kick a soccer ball so after he kicked the ball, Ethan gave it all he had to try to reach the ball before Caleb could retrieve it. I love it that Ethan is always so proud of his effort even if he doesn't succeed! We had such a good time. Grandkids are one the great blessings of life.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Finding the ? ? to blog
I had such big plans for my blog when I began. I would write at least every other day and tell about my experiences, struggles, victories, and joys. I can't even claim that I don't have time because it's been more about interest -- well not really interest, how can I put it?
If you have a blog you will probably understand. Some days I think about posting and my thoughts just don't seem important enough so I put it off and before I know it weeks have passed.
Therefore, I will begin again and let my mind wander, my thoughts form, and my fingers type. Dan and I visited Rachel and Marcus over spring break and we watched the movie, "Fireproof". It's story could have mirrored my marriage or yours -- it's message was one many of us have learned over the years, but few have put into action.
We who have endeavored to navigate the complex issues of the marriage relationship realize over and over that no one can honestly claim to have arrived at the solution. A successful marriage is not a destination but an ongoing process.
We have been married for 31 years and I am still amazed at the things we learn about each other. If I were asked to pick one piece of marriage advice I would borrow the words of George S. Benson as he was often heard to say in his raspy voice, "You just need to keep on keeping on". He was talking about life but it surely fits marriage too.
Keep on keeping on. Simple words, and yet at times an almost insurmountable challenge.
My husband has supported me in so many ways. I hope I can do justice as I try to put it into words.
Around 1990 (or shortly after) I began to struggle with depression, anxiety, self-doubt. I was so unhappy and I was sure my husband was the source of pain. I can smile now as I look back. I was determined that we were going to counseling and he was "going to get fixed". He reluctantly accompanied me and I was unpleasantly dismayed after a few weeks of visits when the counselor gently suggested that I had some issues we needed to address first. Dan was off the hook and didn't even have to come with me!
It wasn't long before I was facing a myriad of painful emotions resulting from a severely abusive childhood. Like most children and then later as adults, I had relegated my experiences into the category of "everybody's life was like that". It was a long and grueling process to healing which included a period where I had pretty much shut down. If it hadn't been for Dan's support and the help of really good counselors, I think I would have spiraled down and required one or more periods of hospitalization. My journey was overwhelming at times, the pain seemed more than I could bear. I began the journey for my children - I knew that my emotional health was something that my children deserved. They deserved a mother that could give her best to them. Somewhere along the journey I realized that I too deserved the healing that would bring peace to my life.
As I continued on this journey, I became less and less able to handle the daily stresses of life and parenting. My husband stepped up and took over mothering and fathering for about a year. Every night I could hear him reassuring our kids that mom was going to be ok. He talked with them, had Bible study time nightly, and answered their questions the best he could. God helped him cope and helped me work through the process to healing.
My next major challenge was to put my degree to use and find a teaching job. Our kids were in Jr High I think. I had graduated in May of 1990 with my BS in Education and it was now 1995 and I began my search for an elementary teaching position. I did a lot of substitute teaching and finally was hired in 1998. I was a bit overwhelmed as a first year teacher. One of my children was a senior in high school and I did my best to balance senior activities with my job responsibilities. My husband was very supportive and helped me in any way I asked.
I should be clear here just in case I have given distorted picture. We continued to have our times of peace and times of conflict and misery. We both had selfish periods of time and had to re-adjust our focus repeatedly.
My next major challenge began around 2001. I began to have neurological symptoms that came and went. It was frightening. I didn't understand what was happening. Both of our children were in college by this time. I went to doctors and had tests run but no answers. I missed months of school. My symptoms progressed until I was unable to walk more than a few steps and had to use a wheelchair. This was the summer of 2003. I finally located a neurologist who did a thorough workup and diagnosed me with multiple sclerosis in August, 2003. He immediately put me in the hospital and treated me with IV solumedrol for 5 days. It worked! I was able to walk again and didn't need my wheelchair. My MS progressed with repeated flare-ups every 8-9 months. The IV treatments would help every time but not quite as much as the last time. Eventually, the treatment didn't help and I continued to use my wheelchair.
My husband wanted me to quit my job because he was concerned about my health. I knew that if I quit my job, I would battle with depression. He decided that if I was going to continue working, he would take over some of the duties at home. He began doing the cooking, grocery shopping and laundry. Then he added the cleaning! Like I said before, he has been very supportive of me.
Classroom teaching began to be too much for me physically, even with my hubby taking care of everything at home. God opened a door and I was given an opportunity to take the counselor's job at my school. What a blessing! The only catch was that I had to get my Master's degree in school counseling over a 3 year period. I started that summer and went full-time for two years while working full-time. I was on auto-pilot. I started having chronic bronchitis so that entailed at least one hospital stay each semester. I had to settle for a "B" in at least one class each semester. I didn't really care by now. I was more interested in what I learned and how I used it as I counseled students at school.
My next challenge was to deal with the 80 pounds I had gained from so many steroid treatments. At the beginning of 2008 I was 210 pounds! I couldn't believe it! Since I was in a wheelchair, I didn't have the option of exercise. We didn't have a pool and the Harding pool was too warm for me. (heat sensitivity is one the many symptoms of MS). I decided that I was going to limit my calories and over the next year I lost over 60 pounds.
I clearly remember Dan saying to me, "I don't think there is anything you can't do once you set your mind to do it" I'll admit it really felt good to hear him say that.
Working as a counselor was a dream job for me. It was not demanding physically and it was very rewarding. I've been blessed to be able to work several more years, resting up in the summers. This last year has been somewhat different. I have been extremely fatigued. I've had to consider the possibility of filing for disability. This is a struggle. I want to keep working but I can't live just to work. I have spent the last 3 months working and sleeping. I work, come home, rest, and go to sleep. I sleep most of Saturday and Sunday. I will be done in 2 days. This is hard for me. I have to face it but very slowly.
Goodness, I have rambled on and on! If you have read this far, you are a loyal reader.
Pictures coming soon of Rachel's visit.
If you have a blog you will probably understand. Some days I think about posting and my thoughts just don't seem important enough so I put it off and before I know it weeks have passed.
Therefore, I will begin again and let my mind wander, my thoughts form, and my fingers type. Dan and I visited Rachel and Marcus over spring break and we watched the movie, "Fireproof". It's story could have mirrored my marriage or yours -- it's message was one many of us have learned over the years, but few have put into action.
We who have endeavored to navigate the complex issues of the marriage relationship realize over and over that no one can honestly claim to have arrived at the solution. A successful marriage is not a destination but an ongoing process.
We have been married for 31 years and I am still amazed at the things we learn about each other. If I were asked to pick one piece of marriage advice I would borrow the words of George S. Benson as he was often heard to say in his raspy voice, "You just need to keep on keeping on". He was talking about life but it surely fits marriage too.
Keep on keeping on. Simple words, and yet at times an almost insurmountable challenge.
My husband has supported me in so many ways. I hope I can do justice as I try to put it into words.
Around 1990 (or shortly after) I began to struggle with depression, anxiety, self-doubt. I was so unhappy and I was sure my husband was the source of pain. I can smile now as I look back. I was determined that we were going to counseling and he was "going to get fixed". He reluctantly accompanied me and I was unpleasantly dismayed after a few weeks of visits when the counselor gently suggested that I had some issues we needed to address first. Dan was off the hook and didn't even have to come with me!
It wasn't long before I was facing a myriad of painful emotions resulting from a severely abusive childhood. Like most children and then later as adults, I had relegated my experiences into the category of "everybody's life was like that". It was a long and grueling process to healing which included a period where I had pretty much shut down. If it hadn't been for Dan's support and the help of really good counselors, I think I would have spiraled down and required one or more periods of hospitalization. My journey was overwhelming at times, the pain seemed more than I could bear. I began the journey for my children - I knew that my emotional health was something that my children deserved. They deserved a mother that could give her best to them. Somewhere along the journey I realized that I too deserved the healing that would bring peace to my life.
As I continued on this journey, I became less and less able to handle the daily stresses of life and parenting. My husband stepped up and took over mothering and fathering for about a year. Every night I could hear him reassuring our kids that mom was going to be ok. He talked with them, had Bible study time nightly, and answered their questions the best he could. God helped him cope and helped me work through the process to healing.
My next major challenge was to put my degree to use and find a teaching job. Our kids were in Jr High I think. I had graduated in May of 1990 with my BS in Education and it was now 1995 and I began my search for an elementary teaching position. I did a lot of substitute teaching and finally was hired in 1998. I was a bit overwhelmed as a first year teacher. One of my children was a senior in high school and I did my best to balance senior activities with my job responsibilities. My husband was very supportive and helped me in any way I asked.
I should be clear here just in case I have given distorted picture. We continued to have our times of peace and times of conflict and misery. We both had selfish periods of time and had to re-adjust our focus repeatedly.
My next major challenge began around 2001. I began to have neurological symptoms that came and went. It was frightening. I didn't understand what was happening. Both of our children were in college by this time. I went to doctors and had tests run but no answers. I missed months of school. My symptoms progressed until I was unable to walk more than a few steps and had to use a wheelchair. This was the summer of 2003. I finally located a neurologist who did a thorough workup and diagnosed me with multiple sclerosis in August, 2003. He immediately put me in the hospital and treated me with IV solumedrol for 5 days. It worked! I was able to walk again and didn't need my wheelchair. My MS progressed with repeated flare-ups every 8-9 months. The IV treatments would help every time but not quite as much as the last time. Eventually, the treatment didn't help and I continued to use my wheelchair.
My husband wanted me to quit my job because he was concerned about my health. I knew that if I quit my job, I would battle with depression. He decided that if I was going to continue working, he would take over some of the duties at home. He began doing the cooking, grocery shopping and laundry. Then he added the cleaning! Like I said before, he has been very supportive of me.
Classroom teaching began to be too much for me physically, even with my hubby taking care of everything at home. God opened a door and I was given an opportunity to take the counselor's job at my school. What a blessing! The only catch was that I had to get my Master's degree in school counseling over a 3 year period. I started that summer and went full-time for two years while working full-time. I was on auto-pilot. I started having chronic bronchitis so that entailed at least one hospital stay each semester. I had to settle for a "B" in at least one class each semester. I didn't really care by now. I was more interested in what I learned and how I used it as I counseled students at school.
My next challenge was to deal with the 80 pounds I had gained from so many steroid treatments. At the beginning of 2008 I was 210 pounds! I couldn't believe it! Since I was in a wheelchair, I didn't have the option of exercise. We didn't have a pool and the Harding pool was too warm for me. (heat sensitivity is one the many symptoms of MS). I decided that I was going to limit my calories and over the next year I lost over 60 pounds.
I clearly remember Dan saying to me, "I don't think there is anything you can't do once you set your mind to do it" I'll admit it really felt good to hear him say that.
Working as a counselor was a dream job for me. It was not demanding physically and it was very rewarding. I've been blessed to be able to work several more years, resting up in the summers. This last year has been somewhat different. I have been extremely fatigued. I've had to consider the possibility of filing for disability. This is a struggle. I want to keep working but I can't live just to work. I have spent the last 3 months working and sleeping. I work, come home, rest, and go to sleep. I sleep most of Saturday and Sunday. I will be done in 2 days. This is hard for me. I have to face it but very slowly.
Goodness, I have rambled on and on! If you have read this far, you are a loyal reader.
Pictures coming soon of Rachel's visit.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Family, Friends, and life
My kids will be visiting very soon and I am so happy. My daughter and her two boys will be here next weekend and my son and his wife and two boys will be here in early June. I love my kids. I love their spouses. I LOVE my grandsons!! I have loved getting to know them and watching their individual, amazing personalities develop.
I've also been blessed with good friends but lately I haven't felt like a good friend. I just read a blog post that seemed as if the writer was reading my mind. As much as I wish they were my words and I could put them here, I'll have to settle for you going to her blog to understand. Read #6.
School is ending soon and while I love my job, I can't wait!!! This year I am more tired here at the end of school than I remember being any other year. I didn't work when my kids were young, in fact I got my college degree exactly 20 years after my high school degree, almost to the day. When I leave school each day, I ignore my plans and drive straight home. I miss my friends from Wednesday small group but I seem unable to force myself to go out again. It's been weeks!!
I am still sad about my legs. It seems ridiculous when I consider the facts. For 5 years I have needed to use my wheelchair for any distance beyond the length of a room. I was used to it and never gave it a second thought for years. I have a scooter for around town and a motorized chair for work so what's the problem? Well, for almost 3 months, I had not needed a wheelchair at all. I was able to walk the entire distance of our school over and over. I could walk several blocks and not have a problem. It happened gradually. I was at school and my legs felt stronger so I walked the distance from my office to one classroom and back. The next day I did it several times then it increased daily until I was walking all over our campus. I began walking into restaurants, stores, etc. It was great and I never felt like my legs were giving out on me - until the middle of April. One morning as I was walking around my house, I could feel that my legs were getting heavy again. I tried not to worry, surely it won't last long. It's been 3 weeks now.
Think about it! I had limited use of my legs for 5 YEARS, so what's the big deal? I already have the scooter and motorized chair. The three months were a gift. Be grateful and move on!! I think I've done that until I mention it or someone at school asks about my legs.
It's not that I don't realized how blessed my life has been.
It's . . . well it's, . . . um . . . I'm not sure what it is, I just hope I get over it and move on.
That's been my mantra all these years-- take time to grieve, assess the situation, decide what I CAN do, do it, and then move on.
Maybe I just needed to put it down in words.
I've also been blessed with good friends but lately I haven't felt like a good friend. I just read a blog post that seemed as if the writer was reading my mind. As much as I wish they were my words and I could put them here, I'll have to settle for you going to her blog to understand. Read #6.
School is ending soon and while I love my job, I can't wait!!! This year I am more tired here at the end of school than I remember being any other year. I didn't work when my kids were young, in fact I got my college degree exactly 20 years after my high school degree, almost to the day. When I leave school each day, I ignore my plans and drive straight home. I miss my friends from Wednesday small group but I seem unable to force myself to go out again. It's been weeks!!
I am still sad about my legs. It seems ridiculous when I consider the facts. For 5 years I have needed to use my wheelchair for any distance beyond the length of a room. I was used to it and never gave it a second thought for years. I have a scooter for around town and a motorized chair for work so what's the problem? Well, for almost 3 months, I had not needed a wheelchair at all. I was able to walk the entire distance of our school over and over. I could walk several blocks and not have a problem. It happened gradually. I was at school and my legs felt stronger so I walked the distance from my office to one classroom and back. The next day I did it several times then it increased daily until I was walking all over our campus. I began walking into restaurants, stores, etc. It was great and I never felt like my legs were giving out on me - until the middle of April. One morning as I was walking around my house, I could feel that my legs were getting heavy again. I tried not to worry, surely it won't last long. It's been 3 weeks now.
Think about it! I had limited use of my legs for 5 YEARS, so what's the big deal? I already have the scooter and motorized chair. The three months were a gift. Be grateful and move on!! I think I've done that until I mention it or someone at school asks about my legs.
It's not that I don't realized how blessed my life has been.
It's . . . well it's, . . . um . . . I'm not sure what it is, I just hope I get over it and move on.
That's been my mantra all these years-- take time to grieve, assess the situation, decide what I CAN do, do it, and then move on.
Maybe I just needed to put it down in words.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
"The World is Crying"
I read those words on facebook today and they express what I am feeling and could not find words of my own to use.
It rained all night and has rained all day today. Each drop is like the fallen tears of the many people who grieve for the Rine family. I can not imagine their grief. I can not fathom their emptiness at losing their daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, etc. I can not begin to grasp their rage at Thomas.
How could Thomas believe Satan's lies and choose to do something so tragic He obviously wanted his life to change. Now the lives of Thomas, his family, and all of Micah's family and friends are changed forever.
It rained all night and has rained all day today. Each drop is like the fallen tears of the many people who grieve for the Rine family. I can not imagine their grief. I can not fathom their emptiness at losing their daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, etc. I can not begin to grasp their rage at Thomas.
How could Thomas believe Satan's lies and choose to do something so tragic He obviously wanted his life to change. Now the lives of Thomas, his family, and all of Micah's family and friends are changed forever.
Friday, May 01, 2009
Prayer Request
Micah Rine Pate, the daughter of Dennis and Terri Rine and wife of Thomas Pate, is missing. She and Thomas live in Bartlett, TN, a suburb of Memphis. A missing persons report was filed late last night and the police are searching for her. She went for a run at 8:30 last night and has not been heard from or seen since. She left her vehicle, purse, cell phone and keys at the house.
"Micah is missing" When I read those words I was stricken with the same terror for Dennis and Terri that I felt when my own children were small and I could not find them for 5 long seconds in the store. Once Michael was at my side and then slipped underneath the round clothing display. He was playing and I was terrified until I located him.
I never realized as a young parent that it does not change because your children grow up. Their well-being remains uppermost in my mind and anything less than their safety is terrifying.
Please pray for Micah and her family.
Please pray for her safe return.
"Micah is missing" When I read those words I was stricken with the same terror for Dennis and Terri that I felt when my own children were small and I could not find them for 5 long seconds in the store. Once Michael was at my side and then slipped underneath the round clothing display. He was playing and I was terrified until I located him.
I never realized as a young parent that it does not change because your children grow up. Their well-being remains uppermost in my mind and anything less than their safety is terrifying.
Please pray for Micah and her family.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Are you talking to me?
I was in Wal-Mart recently driving along in the motorized shopping cart and verbalizing my thoughts quietly, as is my habit.
"What else do I need?
Oh that's right, permanent markers for a project at school.
No, I can get those next time, I need to hurry now.
Ok - get my list out, so I can get finished."
I was on this very long aisle that spans the whole store and I suddenly noticed this elderly lady ahead of me about ten feet. She looked back at me and then turned around quickly, taking hold of her cart firmly with both hands.
I didn't give it much thought and went on thinking (aloud) until I noticed her looking back at me again. By now I realized that she was feeling a bit nervous about me "following" her.
It was clear that she had heard me talking and wasn't quite sure what to make of me. She looked back one final time and then she turned sharply to the right and quickly disappeared from view.
It all struck me so funny that I just started laughing.
"What else do I need?
Oh that's right, permanent markers for a project at school.
No, I can get those next time, I need to hurry now.
Ok - get my list out, so I can get finished."
I was on this very long aisle that spans the whole store and I suddenly noticed this elderly lady ahead of me about ten feet. She looked back at me and then turned around quickly, taking hold of her cart firmly with both hands.
I didn't give it much thought and went on thinking (aloud) until I noticed her looking back at me again. By now I realized that she was feeling a bit nervous about me "following" her.
It was clear that she had heard me talking and wasn't quite sure what to make of me. She looked back one final time and then she turned sharply to the right and quickly disappeared from view.
It all struck me so funny that I just started laughing.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Spring Break Party
Well, actually only the last part of the week included a party. The first half of the week was reserved for several doctor appointments and a not-so-fun endoscopy. I'll find out the results tomorrow. I was forced to schedule them this week since I have run out of sick days for this school year.
Dan and I drove to Birmingham to spend a few days with Caleb and Ethan and celebrate their birthdays. Caleb turned 3 and Ethan turned 1. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with them.
Ethan loves to eat!. We went out to dinner and Ethan noticed the appetizer menu which was in a triangle shaped stand. He picked it up and kept pointing to the crab cakes and asking for them. "Dat" he said repeatedly and he would make the sign for eating. Every time he said it he would look at a different person at the table. It was so cute because he just assumed that the food would appear in our hands and we would give it to him. When that didn't work, he turned to the next person. When the server came to our table, Ethan smiled real big and began bouncing up and down - - he was sure food was coming now. Alas, the server left to get our drinks and poor Ethan just couldn't believe his misfortune. We had given him bread but he knew better food was coming and the bread was no longer cutting it for him.
Caleb has become such a little man. His personality is much like his mama's was at his age and I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed watching their interactions. He absolutely loves to be read to. He had just been on his weekly trip to the library so he had a bookbag full of new choices. I read 4-5 books to him in one setting and his eyes never left the pages. I read to him many times during our short visit and I honestly believe he would sit there for hours as we read and even reread book after book. Caleb is a very active boy and loves to run, jump, and climb. He does not, however, like to be held or cuddled much. Much to my surprise, he jumped into my lap one evening and lay his head on my shoulder with his arms wrapped around my neck. He cuddled with me for about five minutes. Even better, he lifted his head and whispered into my ear, "I love you Nanna" several times before he decided to get down. I am still savoring those moments!
PARTY
They had a joint party with their own cakes. We had to move the party to the church because of rain. Caleb and his friends played Duck, Duck, Goose, Musical Chairs, and some other games. They had a lot of fun. We sang Happy Birthday to Caleb and then to Ethan. Caleb had to help Ethan out and blow out his candle for him. Caleb's eyes lit up when the group sang to him. I held Ethan and fed him his cake which he really enjoyed. Every time I gave him a bite, he would smile and go "mmmmmm". It was a nice party.
Dan and I drove to Birmingham to spend a few days with Caleb and Ethan and celebrate their birthdays. Caleb turned 3 and Ethan turned 1. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with them.
Ethan loves to eat!. We went out to dinner and Ethan noticed the appetizer menu which was in a triangle shaped stand. He picked it up and kept pointing to the crab cakes and asking for them. "Dat" he said repeatedly and he would make the sign for eating. Every time he said it he would look at a different person at the table. It was so cute because he just assumed that the food would appear in our hands and we would give it to him. When that didn't work, he turned to the next person. When the server came to our table, Ethan smiled real big and began bouncing up and down - - he was sure food was coming now. Alas, the server left to get our drinks and poor Ethan just couldn't believe his misfortune. We had given him bread but he knew better food was coming and the bread was no longer cutting it for him.
Caleb has become such a little man. His personality is much like his mama's was at his age and I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed watching their interactions. He absolutely loves to be read to. He had just been on his weekly trip to the library so he had a bookbag full of new choices. I read 4-5 books to him in one setting and his eyes never left the pages. I read to him many times during our short visit and I honestly believe he would sit there for hours as we read and even reread book after book. Caleb is a very active boy and loves to run, jump, and climb. He does not, however, like to be held or cuddled much. Much to my surprise, he jumped into my lap one evening and lay his head on my shoulder with his arms wrapped around my neck. He cuddled with me for about five minutes. Even better, he lifted his head and whispered into my ear, "I love you Nanna" several times before he decided to get down. I am still savoring those moments!
PARTY
They had a joint party with their own cakes. We had to move the party to the church because of rain. Caleb and his friends played Duck, Duck, Goose, Musical Chairs, and some other games. They had a lot of fun. We sang Happy Birthday to Caleb and then to Ethan. Caleb had to help Ethan out and blow out his candle for him. Caleb's eyes lit up when the group sang to him. I held Ethan and fed him his cake which he really enjoyed. Every time I gave him a bite, he would smile and go "mmmmmm". It was a nice party.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
He's a Red-Head!!
For those of you who haven't heard, my newest grandson has red hair! Since both of my kids are red-heads, I am a bit partial. Jasper was born March 14th and weighed in at 7 lb 10 oz. and 19 1/2 " long.
I haven't seen him in person yet. but I can't wait!!
I haven't seen him in person yet. but I can't wait!!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thank you God
A woman came to me recently describing a period in her life when she battled with serious depression. I've known her for many years.
At that time in her life, she doubted herself, her value, and even God's existence. I nodded as she went on, understanding that she had been in a really hard place.
At that time, she was meeting with a counselor and was invited to a group that was meeting weekly to deal with a variety of issues.
It turns out that I was a part of that group and was working through some difficult issues relating to childhood abuse I had experienced.
As she became aware of the influence and level of evil that had existed in my life, she concluded that God MUST be present and active in our lives.
It was at that point that she began her walk back toward Him.
I was stunned!! God used those dark moments in my life to bless her which in turn, blessed her children.
Thank you Lord for being with me always, even when I don't have a clue.
At that time in her life, she doubted herself, her value, and even God's existence. I nodded as she went on, understanding that she had been in a really hard place.
At that time, she was meeting with a counselor and was invited to a group that was meeting weekly to deal with a variety of issues.
It turns out that I was a part of that group and was working through some difficult issues relating to childhood abuse I had experienced.
As she became aware of the influence and level of evil that had existed in my life, she concluded that God MUST be present and active in our lives.
It was at that point that she began her walk back toward Him.
I was stunned!! God used those dark moments in my life to bless her which in turn, blessed her children.
Thank you Lord for being with me always, even when I don't have a clue.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I LOVE my iPhone
I do love my iPhone. I can check all 4 of my email accounts including my school account.
Facebook loads in about 10 seconds!
Park Smart is a program that records the location of my car when I go into the store and shows me a map back to my car. No more pressing my clicker until I hear my car or see it's lights flashing. :)
I have 3 versions of the Bible and the concordance searches the entire Bible in seconds for a word or phrase.
I have scrabble or sudoku for those long lines that everybody hates. I think I'm becoming ADD.
Web MD is at my fingertips. I hope that's a good thing.
Whether it's a thesaurus, dictionary, or encyclopedia - If I think of a question, my iPhone has the answer.
I recently added a Spanish translator and a sign language program.
It has a digital tape recorder and even a brain exerciser!!
Best of all, it has a digital photo album for those great photos of my grandsons.
What more could I ask for?
Facebook loads in about 10 seconds!
Park Smart is a program that records the location of my car when I go into the store and shows me a map back to my car. No more pressing my clicker until I hear my car or see it's lights flashing. :)
I have 3 versions of the Bible and the concordance searches the entire Bible in seconds for a word or phrase.
I have scrabble or sudoku for those long lines that everybody hates. I think I'm becoming ADD.
Web MD is at my fingertips. I hope that's a good thing.
Whether it's a thesaurus, dictionary, or encyclopedia - If I think of a question, my iPhone has the answer.
I recently added a Spanish translator and a sign language program.
It has a digital tape recorder and even a brain exerciser!!
Best of all, it has a digital photo album for those great photos of my grandsons.
What more could I ask for?
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
And the lucky number is . . . . 1 4 6
Battle of the Bulge
Food for Thought
2 Rules for a flat stomach
Yo Yo Dieting
. . . . on and on the phrases go and yet I had never given them much thought. After all, I had been skinny most of my life -- and no, that didn't make it any easier when I began to face weight gain. Yes, I was lucky that I didn't have to think about calories for decades. Even then, it was the result of megadoses steroids that caused me to gain more than 80 pounds in 3 years.
On January 1, 2008 I weighed 210 pounds. I was depressed, discouraged, and hopeless. I decided that there had to be a way for me to lose it. I researched the amount of calories burned at rest and depending upon which source I believed, it seemed to be between 1800 and 2200 every 24 hours. I was very limited as far as exercise because of my MS.
I decided that I would limit my daily caloric intake to 800-1000 calories daily. I allowed myself about 150 calories for breakfast, 200 for lunch, 200-300 for dinner. I had two snacks a day and totaled my calories every evening. I found that it helped me to write down every single bite I took each day.
I started losing gradually and soon I had lost 20 pounds. Dan noticed right away, which helped alot. Even as I lost the next 20-30 pounds, most of my work and church friends couldn't tell. I was always sitting in my wheelchair so it was harder to notice. I didn't mind, I just kept at it. By September I had lost 55 pounds and people were noticing.
Now, here it is February, and I have lost 64 pounds!!
I was in a hurry as I got on the scales this morning and I froze when I saw 146. I rechecked it about 6 times but it was true. If you've read this far, you must care about me or be really bored.
I, on the other hand, am so excited and grateful. I just have a few more pounds left to go.
:)
:)
:)
Food for Thought
2 Rules for a flat stomach
Yo Yo Dieting
. . . . on and on the phrases go and yet I had never given them much thought. After all, I had been skinny most of my life -- and no, that didn't make it any easier when I began to face weight gain. Yes, I was lucky that I didn't have to think about calories for decades. Even then, it was the result of megadoses steroids that caused me to gain more than 80 pounds in 3 years.
On January 1, 2008 I weighed 210 pounds. I was depressed, discouraged, and hopeless. I decided that there had to be a way for me to lose it. I researched the amount of calories burned at rest and depending upon which source I believed, it seemed to be between 1800 and 2200 every 24 hours. I was very limited as far as exercise because of my MS.
I decided that I would limit my daily caloric intake to 800-1000 calories daily. I allowed myself about 150 calories for breakfast, 200 for lunch, 200-300 for dinner. I had two snacks a day and totaled my calories every evening. I found that it helped me to write down every single bite I took each day.
I started losing gradually and soon I had lost 20 pounds. Dan noticed right away, which helped alot. Even as I lost the next 20-30 pounds, most of my work and church friends couldn't tell. I was always sitting in my wheelchair so it was harder to notice. I didn't mind, I just kept at it. By September I had lost 55 pounds and people were noticing.
Now, here it is February, and I have lost 64 pounds!!
I was in a hurry as I got on the scales this morning and I froze when I saw 146. I rechecked it about 6 times but it was true. If you've read this far, you must care about me or be really bored.
I, on the other hand, am so excited and grateful. I just have a few more pounds left to go.
:)
:)
:)
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