The Ambien Adventure?

I should really call it the Ambien nightmare and let me begin by saying that I  quit taking it altogether about three months ago.  I am just now getting around to posting about it. 

Looking back, there were clues that I did not notice at the time.  Dan kept telling me that I was talking loudly in my sleep all night.  He mentioned other things that I KNEW were not true but there did seem to be "mystery" evidence around our home. Things like an empty bag of chips that HE had not eaten and I'm the only other person living in the house.  The same thing had been occurring repeatedly with half eaten pies.  I kept wondering what was going on because neither of us had any reason to deny eating food.  I also had a very strange experience at Michael and Jen's home that I thought was due to my migraine medication and now it's clear that it was also due to the Ambien.

The deciding factor occurred one night when I got up repeatedly and kept falling hard on the floor and on the wooden parts of furniture.  Dan kept trying to persuade me to go back to bed and I kept getting back up and "seeing" things.  He was convinced I was going to break an arm, leg, or hip because I fell so many times.

The next morning, he told me what happened.  I didn't have any recollection, but I was sore all over!  That evening he came home with pages of research he had done about people taking Ambien that had begun sleep-eating, sleep-drinking, sleep-driving, and many other things.  I had already made up my mind to stop taking it, but I could tell that he needed to express himself fully because of the scare I gave him the night before.

No more Ambien for me.  I will say that although the migraine medication can cause hallucinations, it does not cause them for me.  I have continued to take it with no side effects.

Thanksgiving

Marcus and Rachel came for Thanksgiving again this year and we had a great time!  This was the first year that I was well rested before a visit so it was WONDERFUL!!   The kids had seen me a few weeks before but it had been a while since they had seen Papa so they were excited!!

The boys had been learning about traditional Thanksgiving food at school so they were excited to see the familiar turkey day foods on the table.  Dan did all of the cooking but I don't know if the boys noticed.  I hope so, because boys need to learn the kitchen is for dads too.

We had purchased a table set for the kids and I bought them activity books which they loved.  I have seen them color and draw for hours at their house but Dan had never seen it.  I think he was impressed.  Ethan loves to color by number and Caleb enjoys word searches and hidden pictures as well as color by number.

Lydia was the charmer she has been every time I have seen her.  The boys remain very protective of her.  I wondered if that might wear off as she got a bit older but it has not.  Lydia always had a ready smile for everyone.  I loved giving her a bottle and putting her down to bed.  She let me feed her (most of the time)

There was one time that she wanted her momma to feed her and when I sat at the table with the jar of baby food, she let out a wail and threw her head back. To be fair, she wasn't feeling well that day.  I got up and Rachel sat down.  Lydia stared at me as I walked into the living room at sat in my recliner.  It was so funny after that.  Rachel fed her and she kept her eyes on me the whole time,  making sure that I was going to stay in my seat.

Grandparent's Day

I meant to publish this post before my retirement post but here it is now.  On the Monday of my last week of work was Grandparent's day at Caleb's school.  When Rachel invited us, I remembered all the years that she and Michael had no grandparent to attend at their school year after year and I was determined that either Dan or I would be there!

Dan already had business appointments scheduled out of town for that week.  We worked it out so that I could fly down from Saturday and back Tuesday.

I loved seeing Caleb's school and it turned out that Ethan had school that day too.  I spent most of my time in Caleb's class but made a short visit to Ethan's class before I left.  The building is quite spread out so I needed to use a wheel chair that day.  Part of the day's activities was in the auditorium which was quite a distance and Caleb "pushed" my chair all the way while helped wheel myself.  He was so proud of himself.

The auditorium is where they had a very emotional and patriotic ceremony honoring all veterans and their families.   First they asked all veterans from the Gulf War, Iraq War, Korean War, Vietnam War, WWI, WWII, and then they added family members of any veteran that was not present.  Pretty soon the entire stage was overflowing into the aisles.  Before that, they asked men that served in each branch of the service to stand while the band played the song for that branch.  I LOVED IT!!   

                       

Retirement

I am retired and loving it.  I originally gave three months notice and planned to retire on December 20th.  By the the middle of September I had been sick with bronchitis 4 times and realized that I was not going to last until December so I gave two weeks notice and my new retirement date was 11-11-11.

Generally, teacher retirements take place in May and the the schools combine their receptions.  I did not expect to have any kind of reception in the middle of the school year but my colleagues had other plans.   They planned a really nice reception and had collected money for a gift card for me.  I was stunned!

One of the more tech savvy guys put together a rather funny slideshow using Photoshop.   It's supposed to illustrate some of the possibilities that I may try during my retirement.  It's kind of cute.

Here it is:

Awesome or Weak?

 I hope you will take the time to read past the list below because I still can not believe this true story myself.  It's one of the many, many "crazy" things that continually occur at my job that will never make sense to me.

If you have ever been a teacher, you remember lesson plans.  If not, you can probably figure out what I mean.  At our building lesson plans must include the following:

• What is the lesson being taught?
• What are the materials being used with the lesson?
• Which level of Bloom's does each activity of the lesson demonstrate?
• Which of Marzano's Strategies are being used in the lesson?
• What are the objectives for the day?
• What are the expected student outcomes?
• How is the lesson differentiated for students of different ability levels?
• How will the students be assessed?  
• Etc, Etc, Etc

We have four 5th grade teachers that teach the same subject and they all work together on lesson plans and then one of them types up the lesson plans that all four of them use.  They were given prior approval to do it this way.

An "unnamed" supervisor checks lesson plans every Monday.   The supervisor goes into room A, reads the lesson plans and writes comments like, "Awesome, great job, keep it up".

About two hours later, the same supervisor goes into room B, opens up that teacher's lesson plan binder and writes comments like "Weak, needs improvement".

Remember, the lesson plans are IDENTICAL and aparently the supervisor doesn't even remember reading them earlier in the day!!

Entering a New Stage of Life

I was curious about how many stages of life the "experts" designate and it varies from 3-9 depending upon whether you consult the writings of Erikson, Confucious, or a handful of others.  They all do agree on the stage I am entering:  Late Adulthood begins around 60 or 65 with the onset of retirement. (I'll be 60 in a few months)

RETIREMENT!!

I began this school year with the intention of finishing but my plans have changed.  I have been sick every week since school started, my immunity is way down, and I am still trying to recover from my second bout with bronchitis.   The job is taking more from me than I am willing to give so I gave my letter of resignation last week.  My official date is December 20th or before if they hire my replacement and want me to leave sooner.

I feel totally at peace with this decision!  I haven't felt one moment of regret since I gave notice!!  I have begun making notes for my replacement as I am working each day.  He or she will be overwhelmed no matter how much I try to help beforehand, but I'll still do what I can.

I have been thinking a lot about the things I will be able to do when I'm no longer working full-time.

• Travel with Dan on his trips West (he's been going for years and I haven't been able to join him)
• Visit my kids and grandkids more often and when I want to not just when school is out
• Visit my sisters in Ohio more often than every 4-5 years
• Teach classes at church
• Join a book club
• Join a bowling league
• Volunteer in my community
• Find a hobby I never tried before
• Go back to my Ancestry research

 I'm sure I will think of many other thing's to do but that is a start to my list. 

My sister and talk often and she told me that I would "know" when it was time.

Well, Sis, you were RIGHT!!  It's time.

One of The Coolest Teachers Ever

Since my son is a teacher, and he is one of the coolest teachers ever, I wanted to make that very clear.  I don't happen to have any videos that he uses at school but maybe I'll get one :)

We also have one of the coolest teachers ever at my building.  He often makes videos and his first video this school year is outstanding like always.  I am posting it here for your pleasure.  Most of my readers are friends and family from out of state.  I know you'll enjoy it.

First Full Week of School

Having nearly completed my first full week after the students had returned,  I'll have to say that it didn't go as I expected because I got sick.  

I have very few blog readers and those that do are my friends and family.  That fact gives me a sense of freedom to say what's on my mind as far as work goes. I don't mean that I'd reveal confidential information but I may vent now and then.

I actually returned to work on July 25th.  I stayed remarkably busy every day which surprised me.  I thought I would have a little down time before the students returned on 8-17.  

That weekend, I came down with bronchitis, a sinus infection, and an ear infection.  I started on antibiotics Saturday which was an interesting (NOT) endeavor.  I left the doctor's office about 9 AM and went to my regular pharmacy.  After waiting about 30 minutes, they called my name and told me they were out of that particular antibiotic.  "Wal-mart will have it"  Guess what?  Wal-mart did not have it.  I decided to try Walgreens next.  They were out too!!  I was so tired and feeling lousy by then that I just went home.  I texted Dan with the situation and went to bed.

My hubby is my hero.  When he came, he took the prescription, went out and found a pharmacy the had it.

 I took a sick day Monday and went back to work on Tuesday, which was too early and I went home at noon.  I stayed home Wednesday and finally felt good enough today to go back to work.

Today was crazy busy.  I had about 5 minutes to start eating my lunch and never had a chance to finish. 

• I had duty before school
•  visited with 6 students
•  met with 2 outside counselors 
• looked up test scores for teachers and reported the results to them
• talked to 2 parents on the phone
• checked the status for 8 student's qualification for loaner band instruments
• had a meeting with a teacher about a student
• completed the paperwork for a new 504 plan
• had an hour long meeting after school

What a long day!  I wish I could say this was not an ordinary day, but many of my work days are just like this (except for the after school meeting)

Well, that's all for now.

Four Man Band

My daughter-in-law already posted this on her blog but since I have friends and family that may not follow her blog, I feel compelled to repost it here.

While I was at their house, my son was pretending to "play" one of his boys as an instrument.  Soon his other child wanted to join the fun so his mom helped out.  I laughed so hard my sides hurt and then began to video them.

Enjoy.

Summer's End

I've had a wonderful summer break which ends this weekend.   I can't believed I haven't blogged at all.

Our last day of the school year was June 2, if I remember correctly.  I had several days of workshops and soon it was time for our trip to Birmingham/Gatlinburg.  We had a great time of hiking, swimming, eating out, indoor games, and of course, shopping. Caleb really enjoyed playing the game, Trouble, and Ethan proudly "read" a book to me and told me the beginning sound of the letters.  I especially enjoyed  my time taking care of Lydia while the boys hiked with the rest of the family.

Back home I had more days of workshops to attend and days to just relax and read.  Then it was time for my trip to Fort Worth!  It had been few months since I had seen the boys so I expected them to feel a little cautious around me.  I was pleasantly surprised when both of them called out Nanna as they hugged me and climbed on my lap immediately!  We had a great time together with the sprinkler, trampoline, swimming, eating out, indoor games, and even more I can't think of at the moment.  I slept in a double bed next to Jasper's crib and he was soooo cute when he would look over at me to see if I was awake in the morning.  He would keep looking and laying back down until he saw my eyes open and then he would say, "Nanna, UP!'   Bennett and I kept putting together a large floor puzzle of the USA and before long, he was able to put it together himself!  We had a great time together.

Now my summer break has ended and I start back to work Monday.

Is it time?

I've been asking myself that question on a daily basis lately.  When I started my job as a school counselor, I couldn't wait for the school year to start and I looked forward to almost all aspects of my job.  My job has had it's stressful times and days but it's rewards have made it a dream job for me.  For years I've secretly told myself that I would do this job for free because I love it so much. 

Don't get me wrong, I do like the pay check and it has helped us become totally debt free as a family.

More importantly, God has used me to help children and I will be forever grateful.  Some of my students have dealt with abusive situations and it seemed like just when those situations became too heavy I had a rush of "boy crazy" ten year old girls to guide. 

I don't seem to feel the same passion for my job.  I am so tired.  I use most of my weekends to sleep and rest so I can be ready to work again on Monday.  I find myself too tired to attend church.  I feel ashamed about that.

I have two more days until summer break.  I wonder if I will feel differently after weeks of rest.  I am blessed that Dan is supportive of me and whatever I decide.  Do I want to quit now or work one more year?   It's up to me.  If I do work one more year, all of my salary will all go toward our retirement. 

I won't decide today or tomorrow. 

I will rest.

I will travel. 

I will visit all of my grandkids.

I will pray.  In a month I will decide. 

Keep me in your prayers.

A most unusual solution!

Somehow, my post went back to a draft - I've never had that happen - very strange.  Well here it is, back in it's original form:

After five days of being unable to eat anything at all, not even the Boost that has been a staple diet item for some time, I went to my family doctor for help.  At that point I was hoping for a temporary solution to hold me over until I could visit my Gastrointerologist, the specialist in Little Rock, that has been treating me for several years.

Before I went, I was imagining all kinds of scenarios, the worst which was that I'd have to resort to a feeding tube.

Well, I began to explain to my family doctor the progression that I had been experiencing.  At first, I'd started experiencing extreme abdominal pain with foods that I'd been able to tolerate for several years.  First it was one food, and then it was two foods and it progressed to include the Boost.  After five days of eating nothing, and just drinking clear liquids, I found myself at my doctors.

After listening to my detailed story he said, "I'm gong to tell you the same thing that Paul told Timothy.  You need to drink"

At that moment, I interruped him with, "do you mean drink MORE water?"

He said, "No, wine. If you will drink 4 oz. of wine daily it will have a healing effect on your colon".

He went on to tell me some of the other healing effects of daily wine and that there was no need to make up the 4 oz. in the event I missed my daily dose.  He also said that after a while, I would like be able to re-introduce a variety of fruits and vegetables into my diet.  WOW!!

As you might guess, I was NOT expecting to hear this.

I did take his advice,  however, and I can confirm that it has made a HUGE difference.  I am again able to eat the foods I had recently had to cut out of my diet as well eating as some new ones.

I am not ready to attempt any fruits and vegetables due to the extreme pain they have caused in the past but I do intend to try them this summer when I am no longer working.

I have to say, I am really excited about the possibility of being able to eat normally!!!

Thanks Dr. Dan for your advice!!!

Where did my blog post go?

This is the first time I have ever had a blog post disappear.

It was here yesterday and even had a comment and today it is GONE!

Very strange.  I will have to post it again.

Birmingham Visit

My newest grandchild, Lydia Katherine Wagner, was born on April 8th.

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!

On our recent visit, I was blessed to see how much her brothers love her.  I had expected to make an attempt to focus on them first and later on Lydia but they couldn't wait to show her off.  Ethan loves to shower her with kisses and Caleb gazes at her lovingly and caresses her hand or cheek.   Both boys seem to have grown up so much since the last time we visited.  Maybe that's part of being a big brother.

All babies are "good", but she is a really good baby.  I hardly ever heard her cry.  Whether we were at home, eating out, swimming, or somewhere else, she was content.   She loves being held and I loved holdng her.  :)

The Bible House burns to the ground

Dan texted me at work today to tell me that the Bible House had burned to the ground.  When I first read it, I was so busy I could hardly comprehend it.  As the day wore on, the words echoed and I thought back over years of the many times I had visited and taken my children to purchase books there.  It's been a fixture in Searcy and I wonder if they will rebuild.

I understand that the fire start at about 9:30 AM and it kept smoldering and reigniting.  At 1 PM the fire was still smoldering.  At one point there were more than 40 fireman at the scene.  Two engine trucks, a tower tower truck, and even most of the city's off duty fire personnel responded  to the blaze.  The Bible house has been at that location since 1980.

When I came into town at about 3:30, the tower truck was still pouring water onto the building.  The right wing of the building was the children's wing and is a total loss.  It was taken down with the help of a backhoe about 11 AM.

The cause of the fire is currently unknown.

Storm Damage

We are sitting here watching the doppler radar again this evening.  Severe storms are heading our way and while we may lose power,  I'm not really worried about the storm hitting us although last night's storms hit Beebe, McRae and Vilonia.  All three are communities where my "teacher friends" reside.  School was canceled today and will be again tomorrow. 

The Beebe community has many trees down and a variety of damage that I am not yet aware of.  What I  have been told is that our main campus lost the roof over the computer lab, the roof over the new Pre-K building, and some damage over another building.  There is no power for much of the community or at the school.

This is a photo of a car belonging to one of our teachers.  The tree was on the other side of the car and it pierced her gas tank.  She and her family are safe, thank God.  The tree came from the other side of the car.

The McRae community also has many trees down but fortunately has no damage at our building.  There is no power for much of the community or for the school.

No one was injured when this house was hit in McRae.

Vilonia lost 16 homes and many other structures. 

As I started out, storms are headed our way.  It looks like they may go south of us.  I have my pillows and quilt ready for the bathtub in case they don't.  Now all I have to do is successfully talk Dan into joining me.  :)

Nature or Nurture

That's a topic that's been studied and published by many experts.  I remember thinking as a new parent that "nurture" was the main ingredient and would determine how my children would "turn out".  I was partly right and obviously more than partly wrong.

One of my kids made it clear within a few weeks of birth that cuddling was not something preferred and by 18 months old it was clear that an ordered world was an absolute necessity!  My other child was ok with cuddling but disorder was going to be part of every surrounding. 

I now have the benefit of four grandchildren to observe in addition to my own two children and it's clear to me that nature has a huge influence on their personalities, interests, and temperments, but it's the nurture we provide that helps them direct their choices and self control.  Each one of them has specific areas where they have to work harder than everyone else and at the same time, each one has areas that naturally come easier.

Parenting is hard work!!  I am very proud of my kids and their spouses for the the work they do to raise my grandchildren.  It is very challenging work!

Both of my kids were high energy kids and they are high energy adults.  I am fascinated by the characteristics of my own children that I can now see in my grandchildren.  I look forward to the phases that will come as they grow up.

This side of sixty is really sixteen!

I can hardly believe that I will be sixty years old on my next birthday.  First of all, it seems like I just turned fifty yesterday, and forty the day before that!!

Lest you doubt, think about the day you got married.  Whether it be 5, 10, or 15 years ago, it went by so fast in some ways.   Or think about the birth of your child, whether it was 2, 4, or 8 years ago, don't you flash back like it was yesterday?

When I was in my early twenties, I looked at my thirties as the point when my life would have already peaked and I would start going downhill.  LOL!!  Even now that still causes be to really laugh out loud!!!    By the time I reached thirty, I was a young mother to two preschoolers.

When I was about 32,  Rachel was four and Michael was two.   I was babysitting 2 additional two-year olds as well as 2 three-year olds every weekday.  That was DEFINATLY not downhill!!

When I turned 40 my kids were in upper elementary school.  When I turned 50 they were close to entering college and I was close to finishing college.  Shortly after, I began graduate school.  I guess that's why I barely noticed 40 and didn't noticed turning 50 at all.

One things has remained steadfast all these years and it may surprise you.  While my body notices my age, my heart and spirit still feels like I am 16 years old.  I can clearly remember walking down the street with girl friends the first time I realize that boys noticed us.  That was the first year I went to a prom!  My first experience at a theme park was that year and I loved it!  That was a year of many firsts and many good things for me.

I made a reference to this to another teacher recently and she didn't know what I was talking about.  She said she didn't know what age she felt other than the age she is now.

Well I do, I feel sixteen and I'm GLAD!!!

St. Patrick's School

I saw my Aunt Ellen several years ago over Thanksgiving  and she asked me if I went to St. Patrick's school. I hadn't seen her for many years. I think it had been 25 years, but in any case, it had been a long time.

I had totally forgotten about it until she asked. I was enrolled in a Catholic school for first grade. I think it was located on the campus of Kent State University. I don't remember very much about school. I think I was a good student.

I do remember how much I hated recess. At recess, I would choose a spot near the building or at the outside edge of the play area. I would stand on that spot, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I didn't want to get into trouble and I didn't want to make anyone mad at me - not even another first grader.

I had an older cousin or aunt who came up to me at least one time. She was probably high school age. She was kind to me and I think she tried to get me to play with other children. There was NO WAY I would take a risk like that. I wish I could remember who it was.   I have been thinking about this since I first wrote this post, and I really think it may have been my Aunt Agnes!

You may wonder, "how hard could it be to figure out?". Well, I have a very large family on my mother's side. Here is a list of my mother's siblings:

Margaret, Robert, Catherine, Anna, Ellen, Josephine, Frank, Hugh, Pat, Dick, Agnes, Judy, Joe (died when I was about 5) and another Agnes (died as an infant- possibly a twin)

I think my mother was between Anna and Ellen. My mother had 6 of us and with all of the aunts and uncles listed above, you can see that I had lots of cousins. My aunt Judy was only a year or so older than me. She lived with us when she was small because my grandmother had died. Judy always seemed more like a cousin than an aunt.

I have so many good memories of growing up with my cousins. I'll write about that another time.

Back to Catholic school - I may have attended part of 2nd grade at St Matthew's Catholic school. I can't remember for sure.

I do remember going to catechism classes and making my first communion. That would have been 2nd grade and catechism classes were held after school (I think that's right)

The only times I remember going to church on Sundays were the weekend's at Grandpa Joe's or the times I walked from my own house. I remember being at church with different aunts, uncles, and cousins but I don't ever remember seeing my mother. This struck me so odd that I asked my sister - she doesn't ever remember seeing our mother at church either. Strange.

Rebound - Part 2

I recently learned about rebound headaches.   I had heard of them before but I'd never really understood the process.

I'd been having daily migraine headaches for about two months and had nearly used all of the prescription medication that typically stops my migraines before they hit full force.  I discussed this with my neurologist in late January and he emphasized to me that I could not take this medication more than twice a week because it could cause a stroke!! 

He then explained that I had been most likely been having rebound migraines which occur when the body becomes accustomed to the prescription treatment and then responds to the diminishing amount of medication in the body by triggering a new migraine. 

That particular medication is an "abortive" type and I could not take it for the next two weeks.  That meant  I had to miss the next two weeks of work to stay in bed and deal with daily headaches.  My doctor also started me on a daily "preventative" medicaiton that should reduce the number of migraines I get.  I sure hope so.

I have learned my lesson and I will not take the "abortive" medication more than twice a week!