Here We Go Again

My legs have gone on strike again!

My right leg has been bothering me for about 10 days. I've had the sensation of numbness and the zapping (tingling and stronger) from my foot to my thigh. I feel the zzzzzzzz sensation from my entire foot up through my shin, and thigh. It hadn't affection my gait so I pretty much just ignored it and went on. It ached about half of the time and I remember thinking, "I've been lucky so far, because pain has not been a major element of my MS.

Yesterday, while I was sitting comfortably in an auditorium, I felt my left leg get very heavy and feel numb. Not numbness of the surface, but a deeper sensation - kind of like you have a heavy pair of soaking wet jeans on. It's an odd sensation.

I called my neurologist and he isn't in the office today. His nurse was very helpful and she talked to him and called me back. He recommended I go to the ER at UAMS or even here at the local hospital to have an MRI done. I've had my share of MRI's but it has been about 2 years since my last one. I don't mind them at all but I have decided not to go until tomorrow.

Why wait?

I'm hoping that this will just clear up. Numerous times over the last 8 or so years, I have experienced difficulty walking and it resolved itself without treatment. The main difference this time is that the "zapping" is in my entire leg and both legs are effected this time. My balance is so bad that I have to hold on to the wall to even stand up and my cain isn't adequate stability


Why wait?

The only treatment option used in the past has been steroids. I haven't had a major flareup since I became Dr. Archer's patient about 2 years ago. I probably had 5-6 courses of sterioids while I was seeing my previous neurologist in Hot Springs. The solumedrol was delivered via an IV and the dosage was 1 gram (yep, that's 1000 mg) per day for anywhere from 3-5 days. You may not know this, but that is a megadose! Steroids also contributed to my weight gain of more than 75 pounds over a 3 year period. The last time I had this treatment was about 3 years ago, and it wasn't even effective. Thankfully, I was able to lose all but 5 lbs of that weight gain since I haven't been on steroids. . . . . . . . I DON'T WANT TO TAKE STEROIDS!

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Measurable Snow

Did I get your attention? No? That's ok, I won't let that stop me.

It did get my attention, however, when I heard the news broadcaster say,

"Today there has been measurable snow in 49 of our 50 states". I changed the channel and heard the same report. Beebe had received 8 inches of snow the previous week and we had missed a total of 5 days of school.

Even so, I had to check one more source so I logged on to www.weather.com to see what they had to say. Sure enough, it was true. At least a part of all 49 states had snow that same day. That was last Friday, February 12th.

People all over Searcy were posting pictures on facebook, me included.

Hear me roar

It was December, 1972 and Helen Reddy's song had risen to #1. Why do I care? you may be thinking. Well, at that time, this song became an inward mantra for me. It began, I am woman, hear me roar.

I hadn't thought of that song for decades until a few years ago when my work peers and I were asked to turn in the name of one of our favorite oldie songs for a faculty meeting activity.

Before I even had a moment to think, out popped the words - "I AM WOMAN, by Helen Reddy"

My boss looked at curiously, and I even wondered myself where that came from. I didn't give it much more thought and the faculty activity never came to fruition.

Nevertheless, a year or so later when I was again asked for a song from my youth, I gave the same response. This time I decided to look up the lyrics, some of which surprised me. Others, however, resonated from a place deep inside me.
.

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Even at 19 years old, I was determined that while my life up until then had almost broken me, I would not give up! (Link to full lyrics)

Now, nearly 40 years later, the Lord has removed every single link of that chain that bound me. Bent by it's weight but never broken. He carried me up the hills when I tried to climb them on my own. He has led me through the darkness of fears and doubts.

Romans 8:28 I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

Give me strength, Lord
as You soothe my wounds
and I face life's current challenges

On the Bright Side?

I couldn't decide what to title this post. You see, I have been struggling with seeing the bright side for a while now. For the last several decades, my predominant perspective has been the "glass is half-full" and it didn't take effort because that was my natural outlook. I found it easy to see the positive aspect of most everything.

When I look back at my childhood, I think, "only a fool" could see or hope for good things ahead during those times. Back then, there wasn't much to look forward to, yet I hoped and I expected better times.

At first I thought I would just quit blogging -- after all, I'd practically done that already. I began to remove posts as I considered doing just that.

Then I decided that "going private" was my solution - That would allow me to express my feelings and not be exposed, or at least feel vulnerable to the entire world wide web.

By the way, I want to say thank you to those of you that contacted me. I liked the feeling that you wanted to continue reading or least keep up with my life.

Pretty funny huh? My following, like the majority of blogs, is just a small blip on the world's radar screen of blogs.

I'm not quitting or going private. I'm going to repost at least some of my story.

Going Private

I've decided to continue blogging but not publicly. If you would like to continue reading my blog, send me a message at one of the following.

Email me at: vcampbell@sbcglobal.net.

OR

message me on facebook.

Taking a Break

I have decided to take a break from blogging.

Your Child Is Born

Your child is born
and becoming a parent
changes you forever

In ways you didn't expect
and could never have predicted.

So tiny and helpless at first
depending on you
for every need.

This child grows and changes
while your love for them never wavers,
but grows deeper as the years pass by.

They need you less as they learn
to depend both on themselves
and on their Lord.

They grow up
and are on their own
or so they think.

They face life's struggles,
and while not there with them
you are and will always be
on their side

October Skies

I can't believe that November has arrived! My main memory of this past October is R A I N ! !

We only had 7 days of sun during the whole month of October! It was the wettest October on record at 19 different stations, including Little Rock! Even Searcy had almost 5 inches in ONE day last week.

I guess I just need to describe one of those days. Here goes. I was heading toward the office at school and suddenly saw about a dozen people with mops and brooms trying to push the water out the door. There were 3 custodians, the school nurse, the office secretary, two teachers, and a computer lab facilitator among others. It was about 2:30 and the kids were supposed to get on the buses at 3 PM.

Not gonna happen!

A rippling river of rainwater was rushing down hall from the cafeteria to the office. If I had not seen it, I wouldn't have believed it. That's a distance of about 40 feet.

One class that was returning from the gym had to detour to the other side of the building. When they came inside, it was comical! The teacher was in front of the line with her pants rolled up to her knees. The line of students that followed alternated between trying to roll up thier pants as they walked, or bending slightly forward trying to hold up the hem of their pants. Thier shoes and socks were soaked from being submerged in 8 inches of water outside. And just in case you think they were puddle jumping, that was on the sidewalk!

Many of the teachers whose classes were in that hallway had their students move thier books from the bottom shelves just in case.

After sending for several shop vacs and lots of mops, the floor was finally cleared of running water. Then the students made their way to the buses and teachers to their cars. What a day!

The Middle Wife

It was time for show-n-tell and Erica, a very bright, outgoing seven-year-old, came to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She held up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.”

She's stood there with her hands on the pillow, and the teacher was trying not to laugh and wishing she had her camcorder that day. The kids were watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom started saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!” Erica put a hand behind her back and groaned.

“She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!” Now Erica is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (Now Erica has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.’

They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. “

“He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.”

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

******************************************************

Another teacher sent me this story and I am still laughing about it. I couldn’t resist posting it here. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Pain Perception

• Human beings at large differ in how sensitive they are to pain. Much of the variation is apparently random. But gender matters. Women tend to hurt more than men do. Ethnicity can also interface with ache; some ethnic groups are more tolerant of discomfort than others are.
• In the past few years researchers have begun unraveling the genetic roots of these differences. They are also pinpointing social, cultural and psychological components that play parts in pain sensitivity.
• Assessing patients’ vulnerability to anguish may be essential to accurately judging the severity of their condition. It is also critical to deciding how to treat individuals’ pain. Revealing the molecular causes of individual variation in pain perception is already providing potential targets for novel pain medications.

One day as a child Billy Smith (not his real name), a resident of Newfoundland, could not take off his shoe. No amount of twisting or tugging would loosen its grip on his foot. The reason for his struggle eventually surfaced: a nail had pierced the sole and entered Smith’s flesh, tightly binding the two. Removing the nail freed the foot, but solving that problem only underscored a bigger one: Smith had not noticed.

Smith is among a tiny cluster of people, fewer than 30 in the world, who harbor a genetic quirk that renders them incapable of perceiving pain . “These humans are completely healthy, of normal intelligence, but don’t know what pain is,” says clinical geneticist C. Geoffrey Woods, who studied a group of such patients from northern Pakistan. They can sense touch, heat, vibration and their body’s position in space. Yet for them, root canals are painless, as are falls, fires and whacks on the head with a baseball bat. One woman with so-called congenital indifference to pain (CIP) delivered a baby without discomfort.



Link
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=i-do-not-feel-your-pain



DIFFERENT ARTICLE:
Link

http://indianapublicmedia.org/amomentofscience/knocking-out-redheads/
Did you know that people with red hair need more anesthesia during surgery than other people?
Dozens of studies have shown that it takes about twenty-percent more anesthesia to knock out redheads than it does people with other hair colors. It’s all got to do with pigment, which are the particles that determine the color of hair and skin.
The amount of pigment you have is controlled by a hormone in the brain. Redheads have more of this hormone – and that matters because the pigment hormone is also involved with pain perception.
For some reason, because redheads have an abundance of this pigment hormone, they’re more sensitive to pain, which is why it takes more anesthesia to knock them out. But if you are a redhead, there’s no need to worry about waking up during surgery, screaming in pain. Surgeons and anesthesiologists are well aware of the phenomenon.
Medscape Link

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/487261

The Placebo Effect

I was amazed when I read this article in Neurology.

Doctors and scientists used to believe that a placebo, sometimes called a sugar pill, had the ability to change the perception of the patient but had no real healing effect. In other words, it had no medicine therefore it changed nothing physically within the patient.

Now they have learned that a placebo can have a physical effect on a patient. PET scans have now confirmed that some patients get better just because they expect to. This particular article refers to patients with Parkinson's, depression, and pain. Patients who received a medication and patients who received a placebo had the SAME changes in their brain on PET scans. WOW!

"It seems that the expectation of benefit activates the same natural pathways in the brain as medications. If we could harness these same mechanisms in the clinic, patients could help themselves without the side effects of medications."

That's pretty amazing, although I should not be surprised -- God created us and and in so many ways, our physical bodies are a wonderful and complicated mystery.

Here is the link if you want to read the full article.

I just started reading another article about red-heads and physical pain. I hope to post conclusions from that one soon.

Where have you been?

I have had several calls and more than several questions on FB asking me so I am writing this post to briefly answer the questions. I also wrote a note for FB.

Earlier in the summer, I was diagnosed with a stomach problem which left me pretty much restricted to a liquid diet. I blogged briefly about it before. I am allowed to eat any food that does not have fiber, fat, or spices. Some of the things that are allowable are: cottage cheese, no fat saltine crackers, jello, ice tea, water, chicken broth, white rice, and a few others.

I drank "Boost" and vitamin water for nutrients and of course the foods listed above.

My GI doc recommended a prescription that is not available in the US. The only drug available in the US had some serious side effects for many patients.

I visited my grandkids the last week of July and when I got home, my new medication was here in the mail. I started the new med and went back to work that Monday. By Wednesday I was extremely ill, which continued until the following Sunday. During most of that time, I was so sick that I didn't know day from night most of the time. I started to feel better and then worse. I went to my chiropractor on Tuesday and then to my Doctor on Wednesday.

I learned from my Doctor that this med can effect you neurologically as well as physically. In his words, "the medication sometimes does the same thing to your brain as it does to your gut"

He told me that I will have to wait it out and drink lots of water. I also learned that my potassium was extremely low. It was a 3 and should be between 28-38. That explained why my muscles hurt and I couldn't walk (my legs were bent under and I couldn't straighten them)

It also explained the sensory hallucinations I had been having and while that was a relief (knowing why), I still had to wait until the medication was out of my system.

It is now Saturday and I am just beginning to feel normal again. Yesterday I was feeling pretty good so I tried a few bites of banana and some avocado. That evening I started hurting again and the diarrhea started over. I couldn't believe that I had messed up and didn't look up the food content of banana and avocado - - - they BOTH have fiber!!

NEVER AGAIN will I eat something without checking it out first - even if I "think" I already know it's nutritional content.

At this point, I have missed 7 days of work and I expect to miss the next 5 days. I HOPE to be able to return to work by the 24th.

If you read this all, you MUST have extra time on your hands.

Thanks,

Vicky

PS. I had a WONDERFUL time visiting my grandkids and will post about that shortly.

Historic Moments

John F. Kennedy was the 35th president of the United States.

I was in elementary school. I vividly remember an announcement over the school speaker system announcing that our President had been shot. I sat in the second row, third seat back. No one spoke a word. That is quite a feat for a classroom full of elementary boys and girls. Our teacher had started crying, and was trying to quickly wipe away the tears. We were stunned but we had no idea how serious this was.

School was dismissed and I walked/ran home since I live a few blocks away.

I was glued to the TV. (Yes, you younger folks, we DID have TV then) When it was announced by Walter Cronkrite, "From Dallas Texas, the flash apparently official, President Kennedy died at 1 PM central standard time"

He was visibly choked up and I had never seen emotion on a newscaster before - I my parents weren't home at that time and I just sat there, frozen.

(Link - If you are interested, it's toward the end)

I will never forget that moment. Kennedy's election coverage was the first I had ever watched and I viewed him as a very great man. He seemed young, even to me as a child. All of the other presidents I had learned about looked old.

I continued watching the news coverage every spare moment and I was again left speechless when Jack Ruby shot Oswald on live TV! (Note: This was the era before violence became commonplace on TV)

Link - If you are interested

Whether you are a young person, or older like me, you will have certain events burned in your memory. From that point on, I read every single newspaper article that I could find relating to President Kennedy.

Another related memorable event was when two year John Jr. stood like grown man and saluted his father during a memorial. A & E's biography of John Kennedy Jr. is in 5 parts, but the first view seconds of this video shows John Jr.'s salute.

Link

This video clip is not the one I saw live. The coverage I watched was a close-up of the family and John John stood their for probably 5-10 seconds in a motionless salute to the father he had just begun to know.

FYI: President Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963 at 12:30 Central time.

"Freedom is NEVER free"

I borrowed my title today from a facebook status. We know that freedom for our nation had a cost. The older I get, the more I find myself interested in the details of history. History does repeat itself. Hopefully we can learn the things that are worth repeating.

As women, many of us eagerly look to the next stage -- Will I ever find someone to marry? Will he ever understand me? Will I ever have a baby? Will the struggles of these teenage years be over soon? Will my child marry a person that will help them get to heaven?

It's so easy to want to be free that we often forget to enjoy the moments that are. Every stage has it's struggles but it is also full of joys. Savour the joys of now and you'll be free of the struggles soon enough!

As individuals, we struggle to be free from our flaws. This is a good thing and while we'll never be free of them, we will grow.

Terry Sanford Smith

I got to know Terry and his wife Charlotte when they lived a few blocks from me. They are amazing individuals and I miss them.

While Terry worked with the church here, I visited with him on a regular basis. As time went by, he helped me learn some things about myself, some of which I did not want to know. As it turned out, the more I knew and accepted about me, the healthier I became emotionally.

Learning to love myself was a great gift and it occurred over time. An integral part of that process was a realization that came as a result of my observations of Terry Smith and how he interacted with everyone around him. I saw Terry consistently love people with words and actions. His genuine concern for people was like a shining light and at some point,

I UNDERSTOOD!

At that point, I had been a Christian for years and I knew in my head that God loved me and nothing could change that. While my head knew it, my heart had no clue until

that moment in time when Terry's example taught my heart that God loved me and NOTHING could change that. My heart FELT the love of God for the first time. My heart learned what my head had already known. What a gift!

Thank you Terry, for letting God use you to help me.

I recently came across a poetry blog entitled, "Your Story Matters". I was not surprised to learn that Terry Smith was the author.

PLEASE TAKE A LOOK.

Here is a link to just one of his poems.

Happy Father's Day

Dan is a terrific father to our kids and to their spouses. I've watched him grow in love for our son-in-law and daughter-in-law. He truly loves them as much as he loves our own children. From the time our children were born, he has always put their best interest ahead of his own. He has shown them love, commitment, and respect by the way he lives his life. He has lived a life committed to Christ. He has lived by the principles that he taught to our children. His consistency has provided for an environment that makes clear that they can count on him.

Marcus is wonderful father to the two of my grandsons that are in his care. I've watched him nurture and care for their physical and spiritual needs since the day they were born. I have been impressed to see him struggle with a parenting issue until he was able to decide what is the best choice for his boys.

Michael has been an awesome father for the two of my grandsons that are in his care. I have seen him defer to their needs from the day they were born. He shows them what God expects by the things he expects of himself and of them. He shows them that he loves their mother by the way he treats her on a daily basis and that provides a deep level of security for them.

Poppy is a father I've only recently come to know. I've seen his love for his children and his love for two of my grandsons. I appreciate his love and respect for my son. Thank you Poppy for loving those that I love.

There is so much more I could say. Many of the qualities I mentioned are shared by every one of the dads I described.

Thank you Dads and Happy Father's Day

Clear the Stage

I have been a blog recently that is written by a woman like any of us. She describes herself as a country girl but I would describe her as a deeply spiritual woman who shares her spiritual struggles as well as the spiritual insights she gains as she goes through daily life.

This is a woman I have know for about 7 years. I have know two of her children through the school where I work. I always respected her as a person but I just recently began to appreciate her insights as a Christian. Her blog has been very uplifting to me. Take a look here.

She has a link on her blog to a song called "Clear the Stage". I don't know of the performer but I do know that this song has quite a powerful message. The entire presentation is about 8 minutes long so don't stop when the music stops. If you are interested, here is the link.

Tweet Tweet and Good Spirits

I'm sure you've heard about Twitter as I have. I signed up just to see what it's like. I'll let you know what I think.

I think I have handle on my tummy trouble. I'm balancing servings of Ensure, bottled vitamin water, and occasional other snacks. I found individual serving containers of cottage cheese and that that is a real treat sometimes (not kidding). I'm also doing ok with small amounts of sherbert.

The one food that I miss the most is colby jack deli cheese. I used to eat it with meals and as a snack. I got some no fat cheese slices to try. We'll see.

I'm back in good spirits after "choosing to be grumpy" in my last post.

How could I not be with the many blessings God bestows every day. As I often say, grandkids are a special blessing from God. :)

Choosing to be Grumpy

This post springs from a friend's recent comment. "If happiness is a choice then so is grumpiness"

I am choosing to be grumpy all day today. Fortunately, I am the only one home so I will reap the brunt of my grumpiness.

Gastroparesis - My tummy does not like it when I eat!!! In fact, my stomach muscles work soooo slooooowly that what I eat today may well have chosen a nice parking spot and isn't planning to leave for 3-4 days!!! Did you know there is a little engineer in your stomach directing traffic? I'll call mine Mr. G.

Well, Mr. G runs around telling the stomach muscles to work, work, work. Do your job! They ignore him most of the time but then they get motivated and will work a bit here and there.

If not, then LOOK OUT! Mr. G sends for the catapult and no one likes that catapult!! Not only is the catapult rough, he's very sneaky. Sometimes it's motor starts up with a growl and rumble for warning. Other times, however, the catapult operates with a silencer and BOOOM. You get the picture.

Mr. G has a partner and who takes over when the others are taking a break. Her name is Ms. Nauseitis and Ms. N is not a welcome guest. She is the FIRST one awake on many days. Sometimes she stays all day and other times she visits 5-6 times a day.

Mr. G and Ms N claim the if the solid foods will just stay away and allow the liquids to take their place, then all will be well. That's well and good but they are demanding specific liquids. NO FAT liquids. Grrrr --- Well low fat will do IF, AND ONLY IF the right amount is ingested.

Not too much.

On the surface that seems pretty reasonable, right? Well the catch is that the right amount changes from meal to meal and if too much is ingested, Mr. G and Ms N are right back. Mr. G still may send for the catapult! AND no one likes the catapult!

Well, there is more but this is enough for now. I'm going to go be grumpy now

Nanna's Visit

"Nanna!" was the first thing Bennett said as I got into the car when he and Michael picked me me up at the airport. He had a big smile for me and at the same time I could tell he was feeling a bit shy but I may have overwhelmed with my eagerness since I was soooo glad to see him.

Once we got to his house, he totally lost the bit of shyness he had in the car. One of the first things he asked when we got to his house was, "Where's Papa"? I couldn't believe that he remembered on his own. He hadn't seen Papa since Christmas. He seemed satisfied when we told him Papa couldn't come.

"Nanna," he said from across the room and as soon as I looked he had a great big smile for me. He proceeded to show me his toys and with each one he called "Nanna" as he brought it to me. He was clearly happy to have Nanna visit and I was clearly happy to be there.

By the time Lambie, Froggie, and Monkey had "kissed" me, my hair was a mess but I didn't care. I had so much fun playing with Bennett.

I also loved watching Bennett and daddy swimming in the backyard. They took turns splashing each other and throwing balls in and out of the water.  When I wasn't playing with Bennett or watching him play, I was holding Jasper.  I loved when he smiled at me and tried to talk to me.

Jasper has the same easygoing personality that Bennett has. He is mesmerized when he catches a glimpse of Bennett. It won't be long until Bennett will be a major source of entertainment for Jasper. It was so sweet to see Bennett's gentleness when he touched or kissed Jasper.

Bennett often informed me of one rule or another. "Not throw ball in house" or "Not disobey". I loved hearing him say "yes sir" and "Otay" when given instructions by his mom or dad.

As I've said before, grandsons are one of the great blessings of life.